Made of Stone, COMPLETE!
by Doggett
Summary: The titans find a way to bring back Terra, but will they be willing to forgive her for what she's done? Chapter 3 and on: BBxTerra.
1. Beginnings

Note: I do not own the Teen Titans. DC does. If I did, I would probably bring back Terra. That's what this fanfic is all about.  
  
"Raven, what's the problem?" Beast Boy asked. Raven had called the team into the living room.  
"What I am about to say may disturb and shock all of you." Raven said.  
"What is there to say, Raven?" Starfire inquired.  
"I can feel her mind." Raven replied.  
"Wait a minute," Robin started, "whose mind?"  
"Terra's." Raven answered. "Cyborg, stay here. Fill up the pool with these chemicals, and superheat it to four hundred degrees." Raven ordered. She handed Cyborg a piece of paper.  
"Raven, where are you getting this stuff?" Robin asked.  
"Terra." Raven responded. "Everyone else, come with me. We have to do a little cave searching."  
  
It wasn't long before the titans came across Terra's statue. She had been turned to stone months before, and to Raven, it had seemed that she had just begun to wake up now. Robin used a laser to break the piece of stone that Terra was perched on, and everyone helped in carfully carrying her to the mouth of the cave. They slowly began the trek back to Titan's Tower.  
  
At the foot of the tower, Cyborg was waiting for them with a pool full of the chemicals that Raven had described to him. Beast Boy was the one who carefully placed Terra in the pool on her side. He was delighted when Terra once more became flesh and bone, for the most part. Cyborg carefully lifted the unconcious Terra out of the pool. Raven took the neural transmitters off of Terra's head, and began to strip away her armor. She paused, and gave the neural transmitters to Robin.  
"Destroy these." Raven said. "We don't need Slade knowing that Terra is alive again. And, if you guys don't want Terra pissed at you when she wakes up, I'd go inside. Starfire and I have this covered."  
"But she'll have no clothes!" Beast Boy exclaimed.  
"Good point, Beast Boy." Starfire responded. "Go inside, and get her a few towels and a robe, will you?"  
Mumbling, all of the males went back inside the tower.  
  
Later on, Raven and Starfire dragged Terra's lifeless body up to the living room.  
"Is she alive?" Beast Boy asked, his voice breaking.  
"Barely." Cyborg replied. "Her heart needs time to pump blood back into her body. She's been standing in the same pose for months, and she's probably going to have to use the washroom pretty badly when she wakes up."  
"She can have my bed, then. I'll sleep on the couch." Beast Boy said quickly.  
"Well, we're probably going to need someone to watch her, to raise an alert if anything happens." Robin said.  
"I'll watch her, then, you can depend on it." Beast Boy replied.  
  
That night, everyone was asleep, except Beast Boy. He was watching Terra sleep, and he thought about all that they had been through together. He heard a muffled noise, that sounded like the wind, but then he heard it more clearly. A raspy voice said "Beast Boy....." and Beast Boy got up with a start.  
"Who's there? Who said that?" Beast Boy exclaimed. "Terra?" Beast Boy leaned down near her face. "Terra, I'm here. What do you need?"  
"Could you...... open my eyes?" Terra replied back in a soft, raspy voice. Beast Boy smiled. He picked up his flashlight and opened Terra's eyelids with his fingers. He shined the light in Terra's eyes, and saw her pupils constrict.  
"Thanks..." Terra softly said as she drifted back to sleep.  
  
Beast Boy had fallen asleep in his chair. Terra was sleeping in his bed. Everyone else was up doing things. Around noon, Robin came into the room to wake Beast Boy up.  
"How is she?" Robin asked.  
"Last night, she spoke to me." Beast Boy responded.  
"What did she say?" Robin inquired.  
"She asked me to open her eyes. I don't know why, though." Beast Boy replied.  
Just then, Terra yawned and rolled her head to one side of her body, so it rested on her shoulder. Beast Boy went over to her, and nudged her on her free shoulder.  
"Terra? Terra, wake up. It's morning." An incomprehensible mumble replied. Then, more clearly,  
"Beast Boy?"  
A pained look came across Terra's face. Her eyes shot open, and she blinked a few times.  
"Am I.... alive?" she asked.  
"As alive as I am." Beast Boy responded.  
Terra smiled, and then began to cry.  
"What's wrong?" Beast Boy asked.  
"It's just that.... after everything I've done, you're still here for me. Beast Boy, I'm sorry about everything." Terra replied, her voice going in and out.  
"It's..... alright." Beast Boy responded, tears welling up in his own eyes.  
"Beast Boy?"  
"Yeah, Terra?"  
"I have to go to the washroom."  
  
A few hours later, Cyborg came out of Beast Boy's room with news. Everyone gathered around him in the living room to see what he had to say.  
"Well, first off," he said, "it's about Terra."  
"She's going to die, isn't she?" Beast Boy asked, trying to hold back tears.  
"Unfortunately....." Cyborg responded, "nah, I'm just foolin' with ya. I did some tests. Her heart's pumping blood again, to everywhere but her legs. It shouldn't be long before it gets there, either. Umm... her vocal chords were pretty messed up, but that's alright now. She should be fine by tomorrow."  
"Woo hoo! Yes! High five!" Beast Boy celebrated. He stopped when it was clear that no one else shared his level of enthusiasm.  
"She betrayed us, remember?" Raven said.  
"Though I am happy that Terra is alive and well, I do not believe we should trust her." Starfire responded.  
"For now, at least." Robin elaborated.  
"I guess you guys just don't understand." Beast Boy replied somberly. He ran back to his room.  
  
Beast Boy opened the door of his room. Terra wasn't in the bed. The window was wide open, and wind whipped around the room. Then he noticed Terra was being held by someone in the corner of the room. Beast Boy fumbled with his communicator before opening it.  
"Guys, Slade's in my room!", he shouted, "And he has Terra!" 


	2. Apologies

"Thank you," Slade began, glaring emotionlessly at Beast Boy, "for reviving my dear apprentice. No doubt, she will be more usefull to me now." Terra, who was sleeping peacefully, woke up.  
"Beast Boy... put me down.", she said, sleepily.  
"Terra! Slade, you bastard!" Beast Boy screamed.  
Robin, Starfire, and Raven appeared in the doorway.  
"Put her down, Slade." Robin said, coldly.  
"Well, it does appear that I am outnumbered. I should best be going now." Slade said. With one fell swoop, he threw Terra out the window.  
"Terra!" Beast Boy shouted. He lunged at Slade, but Slade kicked him aside.  
"Farewell for now. Just remember that any time I want the girl, I can have her." Slade said, before disappearing into a cloud of smoke.  
Everyone ran to the window. Terra was safe, laying in Cyborg's arms. Cyborg gave everyone a thumbs-up, then headed back inside the tower.  
  
"Alright, that was a little too close." Robin said when everyone appeared in the living room. Beast Boy had put Terra back to sleep, and was now intently listening to what Robin had to say. "Slade's crafty. He could strike at any moment. He could create a distraction for us, and take Terra."  
"She's making things hard for us." Raven interjected.  
"Not really." Robin started, "We need to leave three of us behind every time we go out to do something, or go out on a mission while Terra is incapacitated. Given her history, she might be likely to attack us. However, due to her constant tired state, she won't. We have to make sure that no one breaks in and makes any.... suggestions to her."  
"Right now, her worst enemy is herself." Cyborg replied.  
"When will she apologize to us, so that we may start the bonds of friendship anew?" Starfire questioned.  
"Soon, Star." Beast Boy replied, "But not tonight."  
  
Terra opened her eyes. Darkness. She painfully rolled herself over, so that she could look at the time. 4:00 A.M. What had woken her up? She couldn't move her legs, but.... her arms worked. Beast Boy sat there, sleeping. She remembered something. The sound of wind rushing up against her ears. Nothing she could steady herself against. She had been jumping? No, falling..... falling out the window. She had heard their anguished cries, but they had not jostled her from her restfullness. Then, she landed, but she was not hurt. She had been saved by the very people she had betrayed.  
  
When Beast Boy woke up, Terra was turned towards him. She was asleep. Her pillow was wet, and she was smiling."Terra? Time to wake up.", Beast Boy said, softly nudging her shoulder. "Come on, Terra. Wake up." Beast Boy began to shake her, softly at first, but then harder. "Terra!", he shouted, wishing, hoping that she would open her eyes and that she would be fine. He was just about to call the others, but then he heard a cough, followed by what sort of sounded like a low growl. Terra's face grew red, and she began coughing hard. Terra's eyes shot open, and she began to calm down. The coughing slowed down, and then stopped completely, and her face returned to it's normal colour. She winced in pain as she sat up and ripped something off her neck, drawing blood. What she held in her hand was a mechanical spider, with razor sharp claws that could embed themselves in a person's skin in a moment. Angrily, Terra crushed the spider with her hand, and threw it on the floor.  
"Terra? Are you alright now?" Beast Boy asked softly, as not to startle her. Terra turned to face him, teeth clenched and hands turned into fists. The look of concern that Beast Boy had on his face convinced her to drop her hands limply to her sides, and to close her mouth. Fresh red blood dripped down her neck. Fighting back tears, she lunged at Beast Boy, grabbing his midsection in a loving embrace. Smiling, Beast Boy scooped her up in his arms and left the room.  
  
Beast Boy brought Terra to the living room, where the other titans were waiting. Beast Boy lay Terra down on an empty couch, and joined the other titans.  
"Guys, can I talk to you privately for a minute?" Beast Boy asked. They all complied. They moved to the kitchen, and Beast Boy went on to tell the titans of what happened minutes before. When Beast Boy finished explaining what had happened, Robin drove his fist down on the table.  
"Damn, that's just like Slade. Wait until no one stands a chance, and then strike." He said.  
"But how did Terra know of this nerve-manipulating spider?" Starfire asked curiously.  
"She was being controlled. Controlled by some wily bastard who would rather see her dead than try to brainwash her again." Beast Boy shot back furiously.  
"Beast Boy, she betrayed us, remember? Slade had nothing to do with it." Raven interjected. Beast Boy sighed.  
"I guess you're right." He said, "But Terra was confused and lonely. What would you have done had it been you and not her?"  
Raven blushed at the question. "I guess I really can't say." She said, sympathetically.  
"And the rest of you. Could you say that you would have done the same?" Beast Boy asked. "What we have here is a lonely girl, who's inabilty to fully control her powers often left her without a home or friends. Slade promised to make everything right for her if she betrayed us. She was confused, and made the wrong decision. I say she deserves another chance."  
"But how do we know she won't go back to Slade?" Cyborg questioned.  
"She's already apologized to me. She wants to apologize to you guys, too, but there hasn't been an oppertunity yet. I say you should hear her out, and make what you think is the right desicion." Beast Boy replied.  
"I guess we don't really have a choice." Robin said.  
"Well, actually we do. We could completely stop caring about her and abandon her right now. It would probably clear a few of your conciouses, but she would probably just go back to Slade. We have to show her that she should be able to trust us, and that we have to trust her." Beast Boy replied, angrily.  
"BB, calm down." Cyborg replied. "Let's do this."  
Everyone went back over. Robin, Cyborg, Starfire and Raven sat on a couch on one side of the table. Beast Boy sat Terra up and sat next to her on the other.  
"Terra," Robin started, "we've been told that you have something to say." Terra smiled.  
"I do." She replied, softly. "My name is Terra. I made the wrong decision and betrayed the Teen Titans. I couldn't control my powers, and I went to the one man who promised he could help me. He was evil, and has since tried to kill me. I sent myself to a rocky grave so I could defeat him. The Teen Titans brought me back to life. They've clothed me and protected me, even though I'd betrayed them. I now see that the actions I made were wrong, and I have everything to regret." At this point, Terra's voice started breaking, and tears welled up in her eyes. "The Teen Titans may do as they will with my treacherous self, but I hope that they will give me another chance to redeem myself for all the bad I've done. My name is Terra, and I'm a traitor. My name is Terra, and I'm truly sorry." She then buried her face in Beast Boy's shoulder. He began to cry, as well.  
"Are you guys happy now?" He asked. He then noticed that everyone else was crying too.  
"That was beautiful...." Starfire softly said.  
The titans on the opposite couch all stood up. They came over to where Terra was crying, and hugged her.  
  
Beast Boy woke up. There was something wrapped around his neck. Tight at first, but getting looser. He looked over and saw Terra. Her hair was covering most of her face, and her teeth were clenched. She was strangling him! "Terra...." He said. He pushed her hair out of her face, only to see that there were two spiders sticking out of her temple. She wore on her face a look of pain. Her eyes were closed tightly, as if she was having a bad dream.  
"Beast Boy......." Terra growled. "Hard..... to fight. Get Cyborg to...... remove from... brain tissue." Her grip began to tighten again. Beast Boy ripped back the blankets of the bed and picked her up. Terra's grip loosened almost completely, and Beast Boy had to bend down to support her back. Then, as he saw, from under the bed came more spiders. Dozens of them. He began to dash from the room, but not before activating the distress signal.  
  
He met up with the other titans a little way down the hall. Spiders closed in on them from both directions. Thinking quickly, Raven put up a shield around them, so that the spiders could not get in.  
"Slade must want Terra a lot to flood the entire tower with probes." Robin observed.  
"Gee, you think?" Raven replied, sarcastically.  
Meanwhile, Beast Boy was explaining to Cyborg what Terra had asked him to do. When Beast Boy was finished, Cyborg nodded.  
"It's a delicate procedure." Cyborg said, "But I should be able to do it without hurting her. What we need to do is to get the probes to let go of her nerves. Think you can get her to fight them long enough?" Beast Boy nodded.  
"Terra, it's Beast Boy. I know you can hear me. I need you to fight it, Terra. Fight it with all your strength. We just need a minute." Beast Boy said to Terra, full of hope. Terra leaned her head back, and her hair fell away from her face.  
"Alright, Beast Boy, I'm in control. But not for.... long." Terra growled, a look of severe pain on her face. Beast Boy lay her on the floor, and Cyborg carefully pulled one of the probes out of her skin, not making any quick movements. Terra yelped and winced in pain, drawing attention from the other titans. Her eyes shot open, and she began to breathe heavily.  
"She's going into shock, man. Try and stall her for just a few more seconds." Cyborg said frantically.  
"Terra, come on, fight it!" Beast Boy urged, "It's almost over." Cyborg quickly removed the last probe, drawing a little blood. Terra gasped, and stopped breathing. Then, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she closed them.  
"No, Terra!" Beast Boy screamed, tears streaming down his face, "Don't die on me! Dammit, don't die!"  
"It is too late, Beast Boy." Starfire said, "She is gone."  
"No!" Beast Boy screamed, driving his fist into the floor, "You lie! You lie...."  
Everyone fell silent. Beast Boy bit his lip, tears in his eyes. He held his face in his hands, just above where Terra's body lay. There was a sound, though. A repetitive sound that seemed to echo. Full of hope, Beast Boy leaned his ear against Terra's chest.  
"Beast Boy," Raven began, "what are you -"  
"Be quiet." Beast Boy replied. He confirmed what he believed when the sound was amplified closer to Terra.  
"She's still alive...." Beast Boy said, his voice breaking. "Her heart. It's still beating..."  
"Are you sure you're not just being delusional?" Cyborg asked. Beast Boy shook his head.  
"Well, whether she's alive or not, we have a bit of a problem here." Robin reminded everyone, nodding to outside the shield where hundreds of probes were waiting.  
"Just wait a damn minute, will you?" Beast Boy replied. He touched Terra's throat. "We have a pulse." He said, with some relief. "Dammit, Terra, breathe. Please breathe." Beast Boy pressed down on her chest. Terra coughed hard. She gasped for air. She clenched her teeth and her eyes tightened shut.  
"Wait a minute. Look." Starfire pointed. The probes began to explode, as if some force was trying to break out from the inside. As the last of them exploded, Terra opened her eyes, and saw Beast Boy crouched over her. She slowly opened her mouth, and softly said,  
"I don't want to die." 


	3. Problems

It rained the next morning. A crash of lightning woke Beast Boy up. Terra wasn't in the bed. In fact, she wasn't in the room. Beast Boy left the room, and headed to the living room, where everyone else was awake.  
"Has anyone seen Terra?" Beast Boy asked. Everyone shook their heads.  
"If she's not with you, then.... damnit, that bitch went back to Slade." Raven growled angrily, "I knew we couldn't trust her, but no one ever listens to me."  
"I don't understand. After everything we've done for her in the past few days, she wouldn't just.... go back, would she?" Beast Boy sighed.  
"It seems that's exactly what she's done." Robin smirked.  
"Listen to yourselves!" Starfire interjected, "Terra is not here one morning, and all of a sudden you're jumping to conclusions. Like you said, Beast Boy, we have to learn to trust her."  
"I'm going to go look for her." Beast Boy said, and he left the room.  
  
Beast Boy found Terra on the front steps of the tower. At first, he only saw the back of her robe, which was now torn, and stained bright red. She was wet from the rain. "Terra?" He inquired, slowly moving towards her. She sighed.  
"That's me."  
"What are you doing out here?"  
"Beast Boy," Terra said while turning around. Beast Boy noticed that she had a large gash on her cheek. "I need some help."  
"Well, if you need to explain something, you should probably do it inside. You're all wet." Beast Boy replied. Terra smiled. Beast Boy helped her up and they headed back inside.  
  
Terra sat down at the kitchen table. Everyone else gathered around, but Beast Boy prevented them from getting too close. Terra coughed, sighed, and then started.  
"I felt sorry for everyone, for having to put up with me, and constant attacks by Slade. I thought that if I left - if I ran away - he would leave you guys alone. I went to the cave where you rescued me from. I saw Slade there,-"  
"You saw Slade? You saw Slade?! You traitor! You bitch!" Raven shouted angrily, and punched Terra in the face, sending her crashing to the floor. Cyborg and Robin struggled to restrain her. "I knew we couldn't trust you! You made us all look like fools! You-"  
"Damn it, Raven, shut the fuck up!" Beast Boy yelled, a look of anger on his face. Raven stopped fighting. Everyone looked at Beast Boy. "You just punched out Terra, and you didn't even let her finish her damn sentence! What the hell kind of friend are you?" Beast Boy leaned down to help Terra back into her seat. Blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth. "Go ahead, Terra, finish up."  
"I saw Slade there, and he saw me. I tried to get away. He stopped me. He beat me up. He cut me a lot. He finished, and didn't take me. I needed to find a place where I knew I was safe, so I came back." She explained.  
"Wait, Terra. If you're cut so much, then why don't you have any more?" Starfire asked.  
"I do, Star, I do. But they're in places that I would feel pretty nervous about showing without wearing any clothes." Terra blushed.  
"How convinient. We got you some clothes as a get well present." Beast Boy said enthusiastically. "I'll be right back!" He ran off to his room.  
"So, where exactly are these injuries?" Robin asked suspiciously.  
"Arms, legs, and my torso's pretty banged up." Terra replied. "He practically tore skin off my back. I have a deep cut around my stomach - I'd say maybe about six inches end to end."  
Beast Boy returned with a box. Terra opened it excitedly, and pulled out a black midriff top, a pair of khaki shorts, and a belt.  
"Wow. Thanks so much, everyone. I'm going to go try it on right now!" Terra pushed out her seat and headed for the washroom.  
"So, did she say anything?" Beast Boy asked when Terra was out of view.  
"She did give a list of injuries that are consistant with the blood stains on her robe." Cyborg mentioned.  
"Beast Boy, I'm sorry for what I did." Raven said. "I don't know what came over me." Beast Boy looked at her.  
"It's alright, but I think you should apologize to Terra, too."  
"I will as soon as she comes back out here."  
"Now, is there anyone else who is suspicious about anything?" Beast Boy asked.  
"How do we know that the entire thing wasn't a work, and that she just cut herself?" Robin asked.  
"Typical." Beast Boy replied. "She seemed pretty shook up when I went out there. It's like she wasn't expecting anything to happen."  
Terra returned, wearing her new clothes. Beast Boy smiled.  
"You look great." He said.  
"Terra, look," Raven started. Terra turned to face her. "I'm sorry for punching you. Sometimes I just get so worked up over something I don't know when to stop." Terra nodded, and smiled.  
"I forgive you. Friends?" Terra extended her hand.  
"Friends." Raven replied, taking Terra's hand and shaking it.  
"Alright, then. Now that everyone's happy, let's get a look at those injuries." Cyborg said. He had already noticed the laceration on Terra's chest, so that was legitimate enough.  
"Sure." Terra smiled, and sat down on a couch.  
  
Cyborg found all of Terra's injuries to be legitimate. He bandaged her torso, and the gash on her face. There was also a stab wound on her inner thigh that she hadn't mentioned, so he bandaged that, too. When he was finished, her helped her up.  
"Thanks." she said, gently moving her limbs as not to break anything. It had stopped raining, and the sun was now just beginning to break through the clouds. Terra looked out the window. "It's a great day to be alive!" She exclaimed, to no one in particular.  
"Hey, Terra, would you come here for a minute?" Beast Boy yelled. Terra slowly walked over. "We're ordering dinner. Is pizza alright?" He asked. Terra smiled.  
"Sure."  
  
Terra felt sorry for Beast Boy; she let him have his bed back that night, despite his attempts to sway her into sleeping in the bed again. He wouldn't let her sleep on the floor, for he was afraid that the events of the night before might repeat themselves. After some convincing, he allowed Terra to sleep on the couch.  
"Now, if you need anything, anything at all, just call and I'll be here in a second. Alright?" Beast Boy asked Terra. Terra nodded. Beast Boy left, and soon Terra was asleep.  
  
The alarm sounded.  
"Somebody broke through security!" Cyborg exclaimed as he ran into the living room, followed by the other titans. They stopped when they saw who had broken into the tower: Slade. He loomed over Terra menacingly, while Terra, however, wasn't moving at all. Her eyes were closed, yet her face was pale, and her arms, which were covered in blood, limply hung over the side of the couch.  
"Slade." Robin growled.  
"Oh, hello, titans." Slade began, "I'm so sorry to disturb you at this late hour, but I do believe that you have something that belongs to me."  
"Terra does not belong to you." Starfire replied, hands curled into fists.  
"I do not believe that is up to you to decide, girl." Slade retorted. "It's up to my hundreds of probes, who, as we speak, have infested my dear apprentice's body and will soon control her completely."  
"You really are a sick bastard." Raven commented.  
"Enough talk. It's time for action!" Beast Boy yelled, jumping at Slade. Slade stepped out of the way, only to walk into offense from Robin. The three remaining titans circled Slade.  
"I've underestimated you yet again. Just know, that the girl will be mine. You won't know where I'll come from, and you won't know when I'll come. But she will be mine. She'll be mine!" Slade cackled, then dissapeared into a cloud of smoke.  
"Why does he keep doing that?" Cyborg asked.  
Meanwhile, Beast Boy had gotten down on his knees to check on Terra. Her blood was still warm, though her skin was freezing.  
It had seemed that her heartbeat had somehow slowed; her pulse was almost nonexistant. Her breaths were short and sporadic. Beast Boy shook her shoulder. Terra opened her eyes and screamed. She tried to crawl away, but she had nowhere to go.  
"It's so c-cold." She said, her teeth chattering. "I'm g-going... to f-freeze."  
"Cyborg?" Beast Boy asked.  
"Well, it seems that the probes are somehow tweaking Terra's nerves in order to make her super sensitive to the cold. Even if it only is sixteen degrees celcius. They could also have theoretically cooled her blood, or changed her brain in some way." Cyborg replied. Terra, meanwhile, had wrapped her blankets around herself. It stung a bit, but she was no stranger to pain. "We need to somehow flush the probes out. Destroying them would leave Terra a mess. I believe that the best way to deal with this would be a chemical injection into the bloodstream."  
"Would that be safe?" Starfire asked.  
"It's probably the safest method." Cyborg replied. "Alright, people, I need a syringe, some bandages, and some water. I'll go get the chemicals. BB, I need you to get Terra in your room. Carry her if you need to. Just get her there." After some resistance, Beast Boy was able to convince Terra to let him carry her. He scooped her up in his arms and headed back to his room.  
  
"Wow, Terra, you've gotten heavier." Beast Boy said as he entered his room, Terra in his arms.  
"Maybe you've just gotten weaker." Terra retorted sarcastically.  
"I'm going to forgive you for saying that. I know you're not in control." Beast Boy sighed.  
"How do you know whether I am or I'm not?" Terra replied, and then she kicked Beast Boy in the head. He fell over, while she started running away.  
"Guys, stop her! Slade's controlling her!" Beast Boy shouted after her.  
Down the hall, Cyborg grabbed her from behind.  
"I'm sorry I have to do this, Terra." He said, and he covered her nose and mouth with his hand, blocking all air from getting in. Terra wasn't able to put up a struggle and was soon unconcious. Beast Boy caught up and carried Terra back to his room. Cyborg followed with a case of chemicals.  
  
Darkness. Voices. A rhythmic beeping sound. Terra felt too weak to open her eyes. She felt something cold on her face, dripping down her cheeks. Was it water? No, sweat. After a struggle, she moved her arm up a bit.  
"Look. She's waking up." A familiar voice said.  
"Terra?" Another familiar voice. "Terra, if you can hear me, I need you to give me a sign."  
"What's going on?" Terra asked, her voice dull.  
"Ask her if she can open her eyes." The possessor of the first voice said.  
"Terra, can you open your eyes?" The second voice asked.  
"No. Too weak." She responded. Something soft touched her face, wiping away perspiration. Something else touched her face. Were they fingers? Terra wasn't sure. She felt her eyelids being pried open. A bright light shone into her eyes. Terra couldn't tell who was doing it; the figure was only a dark sillhouette. They closed her eyelids.  
"What percentage are we at?" The second voice asked.  
"Ninety-eight percent and rising." The first voice replied. "Virtually nothing left in the spinal area." Terra felt something pulled off her temple. Plugs? Most likely. She immediately felt better. She waited until her strength returned, and she opened her eyes. She studied her surroundings. It was dark outside, and a cool breeze came through the window. She was in a bed. The two voices belonged to Cyborg and Beast Boy. Her back felt stiff, as if she had been sleeping for days. She heard a beep.  
"Alright, we're done. Terra, you might want to close your eyes. This might be a little of a shock to you." Cyborg said. Beast Boy began to rip back the covers. Terra shut her eyes, but then was curious and opened them a little. She saw that they were pulling long, clear plastic tubes out of her skin.  
"Terra, this may sting a little." Beast Boy warned her, as he went around to her head and pulled one out of her back. After they finished, Cyborg picked up all the tubes and the chemicals and exited the room. "Terra, it's four o' clock. You should better get some rest." Beast Boy said, running his gloved hand down her face. "It's been quite a night." Beast Boy left the room, and Terra slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
"Terra, time to get up." A moan. "Terra, I'm not kidding." Terra's eyes were pried open. "It's four P.M."  
"What? Already?" Terra asked. Beast Boy sighed, then smiled.  
"You've been asleep for twelve hours. Not that I blame you. If something like that happened to me, I'd be pretty drained myself." He chuckled. "You have a doctor's appointment in about an hour. Here." Beast Boy extended his hand to Terra. She grabbed it and he pulled her up.  
"I'm a little stiff...." Terra said, as she pulled back the blankets. She grabbed her left leg and moved it so that it dangled over the bed. She did the same for the other and got up.  
"That's weird. She shouldn't be. But what Cyborg said, that the chemicals may not be completely flushed from her body... That it might cause some major damage if it's left in there too long..." Beast Boy thought. Should he tell Terra? He thought it would be best if he didn't. He smiled. "Towels are in the closet." He said to her, and he left the room.  
  
Beast Boy's first thought was to go mention this to Cyborg. He found him in the garage, working on his car. Beast Boy explained the situation, and Cyborg nodded thoughtfully.  
"I thought something like this would happen. We need to get the rest of those chemicals out quick. Where's Terra?" Cyborg asked.  
"She's in the shower, I think." Beast Boy replied.  
"Get her as soon as she's ready. Bring her down here. I want to take a look at her before we leave." Cyborg said.  
"Alright." Beast Boy headed back upstairs. "I hope Terra is alright. With what happened to her last time, I could hardly live with myself... but now, this is infinately worse. She's actually risking death here. Well, I just can't let that happen. I can't lose her again. After everything that's happened these past few days, after all that we've been through, I can't just let this thing destroy her." He thought, as he came to his bedroom door. He knocked.  
"Come in!" He opened the door. Terra sat on his bed, drying her hair. She was already dressed.  
"Uh, Terra? Cyborg needs to talk to you."  
"Sure." Terra stood up and walked to the door. Beast Boy and herself walked down the hall. As they were walking, Terra was thinking to herself. "Gee, I hope this isn't something bad. So far in my short time here, I've made life a living hell for everyone else. I probably deserve what's coming to me, although I hope it's not something like an illness." She looked over at Beast Boy. "Poor Beast Boy. I've drug him through the dirt, and still, he stands by me. He's paid for mistake after mistake I've made. He's defended me and made sure I've been alright. I've broken his heart, and yet he still gives me another chance." Terra found tears welling up in her eyes. She stopped and turned to face Beast Boy. Beast Boy stopped and turned to face her.  
"Terra, you're crying..." Beast Boy observed.  
"I know." Terra began. "Beast Boy, you're the first person who has truly cared for me. In fact, I..... I...." Terra looked at her feet. "I love you."  
"I know. You want to go out on a date tomorrow?" Beast Boy asked. Terra looked at him again.  
"Sure." She smiled and nodded, tears streaming down her face. She hugged Beast Boy.  
"Come on. Cyborg's waiting." They started walking again.  
  
"Alright, let's see what we have here." Cyborg said. He poked a small needle into Terra's knee, and it filled with blood. Terra was sitting on a wooden bench; Beast Boy next to her.  
"What exactly is this for, again?" Terra asked.  
"It's just a blood test to make sure that all the chemicals from last night are filtered out." Beast Boy replied. "Don't worry about it; I'm sure you're fine." He smiled and squeezed Terra's hand.  
"Alright, scan's done." Cyborg began. "There's just a trace amount in the legs, specifically in the kneecaps. It might irritate a few nerves, but that's it. It'll work itself out in a few days or so."  
"That's a relief." Beast Boy said. Terra sighed. "We have somewhere to go now. Where's everyone else?"  
"Star and Raven are in her room, and Robin went out to do something. Get in the car; Terra, you can have the front seat if you want it." Cyborg replied.  
  
Terra went through the door to the office, while Beast Boy and Cyborg sat down. The drive had been completely uneventful. Five minutes passed, and nothing happened. Beast Boy and Cyborg heard a male voice coming from the other side of the door.  
"This genetic makeup is.... unbelievable!" It had said. A loud crash ensued, and the room rocked. "No. What are you doing!? No, don't touch the patient! She's just a child, what would you want with her!?" A scream, a crash, and a loud thud. Beast Boy nodded his head towards the door. Cyborg nodded, then counted with his fingers three.... two.... one.... Beast Boy drove his shoulder into the door, knocking it open. There was a hole in the wall. The doctor was lying on the floor, and there was glass scattered everywhere. Terra was laying on a metal table, unconcious, wearing an oxygen mask, with a cord running out of the bottom of her top, and an electrode stuck to her neck. In the midst of all of this was Cinderblock. 


	4. Inside

NOTE: This chapter is written from Terra's point of view.  
  
Something was shaking me. I opened my eyes. Beast Boy stood above me, a panicked look on his face. I ripped off the oxygen mask that had somehow found its way onto my face, and I ripped the plug off my neck. I sat up, starting to pant as the adrenaline kicked in. I ripped the cord out from under my shirt, wincing slightly as the attached electrode came off my skin. I had noticed Cinderblock. Beast Boy was trying to explain what was happening, but I wasn't paying attention, for once. I didn't need anything to be explained. Cyborg was attempting to distract the colossal beast, but it wasn't very effective for long. Cinderblock swatted Cyborg away as if he were a fly. At this point decided that I had watched enough. My heart beat under my skin furiously, and my muscles tightened up. I jumped up on the table, and lunged at the monster, kicking off for momentum. I was pretty useless without my power; subconciously, I knew that, but I didn't care. He caught me in midair. He tightened his grip, in an attempt to crush my bones and kill me. Beast Boy and Cyborg were now back on the offensive, but Cinderblock proved too powerful for them alone. They needed the other titans. He sent them both through the wall opposite he came in. Now knowing that the only one I could rely on was myself, I reached out for something, anything, that I would be able to control and perhaps turn the tide in my favor. I found something; the ceiling. Cinderblock, however, probably deciding that he couldn't kill me by crushing me, threw me against a particularily sharp edge of the metal table, ripping open my bandages from a previous attack and creating a large gash across my stomach. Probably to his suprise, I stood up, even though now blood was gushing out of my wound, staining pretty much everything in my immediate vacinity. I screamed angrilly, a steady stream of blood now exploding out of my torso, and finally got control of the ceiling. Angrilly, I pulled it down, crushing Cinderblock completely. Unfortunately, I had also caught myself. My legs felt broken, and I was sure that I would bleed to death. I felt cold, and soon everything went dark.  
  
I felt something. I felt alive. I felt warmth on my face. I felt myself start to slip back into a deep sleep, and I struggled to keep myself awake. I opened my eyes, suprisingly without pain. I decided not to move, remembering the intense pain that I had felt. Besides, my legs would surely be broken; they had been crushed by the ceiling. I heard the door open.  
"Who's there?" I asked, desprately, for some reason a wave of pain rushing through by body.  
"Terra, calm down." A familiar voice replied, softly. I heard someone enter the room; their feet shuffled across the carpet as they moved around the bed so that they could face me. It was Beast Boy, my friend.... no, not just my friend. My love. Per his instructions, I began to calm down, my heart slowing, the pain receeding.  
"What happened?" I asked. "I brought down the ceiling. I stopped Cinderblock. I thought..... I died."  
"You did." He replied. "Your heart stopped twice. I wasn't sure.... I wasn't sure that I wanted to keep living after I thought you died." He started to cry.  
"Beast Boy, I want you to know something." I said, trying to comfort him. "I want you to know that as long as there is a single breath in my body, as long as you are alive, I will never let myself die. If it causes extreme pain, so be it. If I can't use my limbs again, that's fine. I just...." I began to cry. "I just want to be with you." I wrapped my arms around him, and we both cried. Then, Robin ran into the room.  
"I think you both should see this. Terra, your legs arn't broken anymore. Can you walk?" He asked. I nodded my head slowly. Beast Boy helped me up and we followed Robin back to the living room. The television was on the news channel. I froze when I saw Slade sitting at the desk, addressing the public of Jump City.  
"Now that we have all the plesantries out of the way, ladies and gentlemen, I have some business which I would like to alert each and every one of you to. There is a girl named Terra, currently residing in Titans Tower. I guarentee that the first person to bring her to me will gain five million dollars. If you have her, I will know. Again, the person who brings this girl to me will be five million dollars richer. That is all." Slade explained, then he got up and left the news desk. I didn't know what to think. Slade had, in the course of a few minutes, turned the entire city against me. I felt paralized with fear, and didn't even notice when my legs collapsed below me and I fell to the floor. My stomach felt warm; the pain started again. I thought of the irony of the events that had just transpired, as Beast Boy came over to attend to me.  
"She's going to die!" He screamed, tears in his eyes once more. "She's going to die, and there's nothing I can do to stop it! I'm useless!"  
"Snap out of... it." I managed to struggle through pursed lips. "I'll live long enough to.... take you up on... that date." He smiled, but it was a pained smile; a smile of someone who was about to lose the one they loved. My breathing slowed. I decided that if I were to live, I would live each day as my last; I had already wasted away too much. Too many memories were the wrong ones. I closed my eyes. The pain stopped. The last of the blood trickled out of my torso.  
I stood back up on my legs, much to the suprise of everyone else in the room. Beast Boy was amazed, as evidenced by the look on his face; eyes wide, jaw agape. My knee locked up, though only for a moment. I brushed my hair out of my face, and my eyelids slowly opened.  
"Terra.... you should be dead..." Starfire exclaimed, softly.  
"I don't want to die.." I replied.  
"Damn, Terra, you're practically indestructable!" Cyborg said, excitedly. I smiled. Subconciously, I felt extremely weak, but I would let mere pain ruin this moment. "But now we have a real problem."  
"Cyborg's right. Slade put a bounty on your head." Raven replied. "Now everyone will be after you."  
"I spit at them." I said. "If Slade thinks that a bounty is going to stop me from going outdoors, he has another thing coming. I can see exactly how much resistance I get tonight."  
"You mean it?" Beast Boy asked, enthusiastically.  
"Right." I replied. "It's a date."  
  
My sanity was starting to break away from me. It seemed that I was unable to die. Was I indestructable, or was it sheerly willpower? My frail human body could only take so much; however, it seemed that my mind just wanted more. More pain, more suffering. These were the thoughts running through my mind as I got ready for my date. Fresh bandages had once again been applied over my old blood-soaked ones. I tried to calm myself down; I couldn't get excited or scared tonight. Even if people tried to capture me... But Beast Boy woudn't let that happen. Time and time again I've trusted him with my life, and he's always been there for me. Tonight would be a different challenge, though; how far I could go both physically and emotionally before I start to lose it; before I start to die. I decided to check with Cyborg to see if the titans had access to some sort of relaxant drug; something that could bridge the gap between death and life for me. I estimated that I had maybe about three quarts of blood left; I wasn't really doing all that well in that department. If I was doing to die, though, it wouldn't be tonight. Memories flashed through my mind of what I remembered: constant attacks by Slade, immense pain, defeating Cinderblock, systematically killing myself every time that I let my heartbeat increase. It would all be worth something if I could make it through tonight. I hadn't really been able to express my feelings for Beast Boy before; everytime I tried, there was always an interruption of sorts. There was a knock on the door.  
"Who is it?" I asked.  
"It's me. Got a minute?" I went over to open the door. It was Raven. We had never really seen eye-to-eye before, but I thought that she was beginning to warm up to me. At least, I liked to think that she was. "Terra, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I know exactly what you've been thinking. I've been reading your thoughts." I blushed, clearly embarrassed. Had Raven telekenetically heard all my ranting about myself, my life, my health, and my sanity? "Listen, I just want you to know, that if you ever feel yourself start to slip, just come talk to me. I know what it's like to feel alone. I know what it's like to feel extreme stress and physical limitations. Hell, the rest of us probably wouldn't last half as long as you have so far if confronted with the same situations." I was stunned. Raven was reaching out to me, trying to end my ways of self destruction.  
"Alright, then. Raven.... thanks." I replied, and smiled.  
"By the way, there's some morphine in the bathroom." She said. She left the room. There was a sudden pain in my arm; like a random reminder that I was still injured. I tried to keep myself calm, but the pain just wouldn't go away. I began to feel drowsy; my heart began to beat irregularly. I fell forwards onto the bed. Death had come for me; my body was attempting to shut itself down. I was slowly slipping into death's cold embrace, when I heard a sound. It was more like a mumble that I, while dying, could not make out. I barely felt something sharp pierce my skin, injecting an unknown liquid into my arm. Something lifted me up and deposited me face-up on the bed. I was not aware what was happening; everything was running together. Something else pierced my skin; a long plastic cord of sorts. I decided to close my eyes and let death take its course; if nothing else, the titans would finally be rid of me, and wouldn't have to put up with any more of my trouble. A white gloved hand crossed my field of vision before I let go.  
  
I awakened in a daze. The room was clear of people. There was something cold on my temple; further examination revealed it to be an ice pack. A crimson liquid dripped into my skin via an I.V. It seemed that once again, death had retreated. Upon looking out the window, I noticed that it was light outside. Was it the same day or a new day? I decided to get up and get something to drink. I took a few steps, noting that nothing had trouble moving. I turned around the corner, and I saw Cyborg sitting on the couch, his arm wrapped around Beast Boy, as if to comfort him. Beast Boy's face was buried in his hands.  
"... Man, how could I have been so stupid!? The only person I loved I didn't even get to express my true feelings for! And now, she's dead, and nothing's going to bring her back!"  
"Hi.." I softly said, warrenting Cyborg and Beast Boy to turn around.  
"But.... how?!" Cyborg responded, obviously shocked. "You flatlined! We all thought that you were dead!"  
"Terra?" Beast Boy asked softly, drying his eyes with his hands. He stood up, and moved around to the back of the couch where I was standing. He was beginning to cry again, but it didn't matter; so was I. He ran his hand down my cheek. "You're... alive.." He hugged me tightly. I was feeling better; there was no imminant pain. I heard footsteps and voices.  
"... So, they said that a funeral would probably be pretty expensive, but nothing that we couldn't do. The casket is where they get you..." Robin, Raven and Starfire came up the stairs into the room. They all stopped once they saw me. "You're bullshitting me, arn't you?!" Robin exclaimed. "Why won't you die!"  
"I didn't know that you wanted me dead." I replied.  
"Terra... you know that's not what he meant." Beast Boy responded. I knew I couldn't get out of this one, so I decided to change the subject.  
"So, you ready for our date?" I asked. A smile creeped across Beast Boy's face.  
"Let's go! Guys, hold my calls." He replied.  
"You never get any calls." Starfire responded.  
"Spoilsport." He grabbed my arm and we ran through the door.  
  
We had decided we were going to go see a movie; which one, though, we would think about when we got to the theatre. The walk there was strangly uneventful; people saw us, people passed us. The paranoia began to kick in; that they were merely luring me into a false sense of security; but I just ignored it. There would be plenty of time to be paranoid later. Besides, this was the night I would finally get to go out on a date with Beast Boy; a date devoid of interruptions and wrongdoings. We made it to the theatre without being attacked; I begin to hope that maybe people had forgotton about Slade's proclaimation earlier in the day. I let Beast Boy choose the movie, figuring that he would choose something scary. Instead, he chose a drama, and I was a bit suprised. After getting our snacks, we went into the movie.  
  
The movie was alright, I thought, coming out of the theatre. It was now dark, and streetlights bathed the road, turning it orange.  
"So, what did you think?" Beast Boy asked.  
"It was alright." I replied. "Not something I would see by myself." I shivered. It was abnormally cold for a late spring evening.  
"Are you alright?" Beast Boy asked, acting concerned. I guess his concern for me had never really left. He had been here for me when I needed him most. I nodded my head, putting my hands in my pockets. We had began to head back to the tower, and yet no one had attacked. I guessed the date could be considered a success. There was a moment of silence, and then there was a beeping sound. Beast Boy pulled out his communicator, while we continued to walk.  
"Robin, Terra's with me. What is it?" Beast Boy said, talking into the microphone.  
"We need you both to get back here, now." Robin replied, talking quickly. "Security has been breached." Beast Boy closed his communicator, and we both started to run back to the tower. When we were about twenty feet away, I saw what the problem was; Slade's minions had circled all around the tower and were pouring in the door. I quickly estimated there to be a hundred there, maybe more. I grabbed a nearby rock with my powers, and flung it at the massive army that was still left outside. It crushed some of them, but it had turned their attention to me and Beast Boy. He turned into a tiger, lunging towards the army on all fours. I ran towards the entrance to the tower, taking out the robots as I went. I flung rocks at them with all the strength I could muster; I was beginning to feel a little tired, and, what was worse, excited. I knew that I had to stop doing this, or the adrenaline would start and I would die. I was in a very bad situation, and either way I would lose. Then, I had an idea. I grabbed a switchblade out of my back pocket, pulled up my shirt sleeve, and cut a small gash in my arm. I began to feel better as the blood trickled out of my self-inflicted wound and onto the ground. I started to become less aware of my actions; I was feeling it again, the raw power surging through my veins, something I hadn't felt since my unfortunate betrayal... But now was not the time to dwell on the past. I had managed to clear a way to the entrance of the tower by now, smashing in the artificial organs of my opponents with a certain level of hate. I was feeling sadistic, but I subconciously knew that I wouldn't be able to face the other titans feeling like this. This power was overtaking me; I felt invincible. I ran inside the front entryway to the tower. Someone grabbed me from behind, and put their hand over my mouth, though I could still breathe. I began to calm down; the tension in my muscles eased up. The person let go, and I saw that it was Beast Boy, making his way quietly to the main floor. I followed behind him, creeping up the stairs silently. He pulled the door open. Smoke drifted around the room, bodies of androids on the floor. I begin to feel a bit lightheaded; whether it was from the smoke or something else, I didn't know. I stepped outside the room, gasping for fresh air. My throat was burning; I slumped up against a wall and fell to the floor. Knowing that this was clean air, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.  
  
I woke up, wincing as my eyes reacted to the bright light above my face. I was lying on something cold and metallic; the room around me was dark and unfamiliar. Suprisingly, I found nothing attached to my skin. I began to feel alone and paranoid; perhaps someone had found me and handed me over to Slade? I pushed the thought from my head, labelling it as useless and depressing. I couldn't be depressed now; I had to get out of here and find the other titans. I heard a door slide open. I curled my hands into fists and slowly slid off the table. I crawled over to a dark corner of the room. I curled up and waited for my inevitable fate. I closed my eyes tightly; I didn't want to see the end of myself. I felt something pick me up. My body was numb with fear, and I dare not open my eyes in case I saw the wrong person. I was put down. I shuddered, turning over the possibilities of what this could be in my mind. Cool air blew into my face. I coughed. Now I had given myself away, but it didn't matter; now, since my promises had been fulfilled, I would embrace my fate. For that split second, I felt lonlier than I had my entire life. Something hit my stomach. I recoiled to the pain; the pain that would not seem to go away. Someone shook me hard.  
"Terra... Terra, wake up." A distant voice seemed to say. I opened my eyes. Beast Boy was looming over me, a grin on his face. Was the entire thing merely a dream? A hallucionation? My head was throbbing.  
"What... happened?" I asked, smiling weakly.  
"You fell alseep in the hallway." He replied. "You were sleepling really calmly, so I thought I'd just pick you up and bring you here." Was this really the truth? What of the strange room? The pain? I curled up and shuddered, my mind racing with a hundred thoughts at once. Was this mere paranoia, or was there something deeper? Beast Boy, obviously sensing my plight, pulled a metal case out of his pocket. He opened it up and withdrew a needle, which he proceeded to carefully stick in my arm, a clear liquid draining out of it and going underneath my skin. I felt calmer, somehow; though my brain was still pounding, I began to feel better. My muscles relaxed from their tense state. My breathing slowed, and I began to feel eerily drowsy.  
"Can't sleep... now. Must.... beat... Slade." I mumbled, rather incohenrantly. Beast Boy seemed to have understood, though.  
"Don't worry, Terra. Slade's not here." He replied. He stroked my head, and I was soon asleep.  
  
I felt a shock. This couldn't be happening. Another one. I yelped. I could feel my body being pushed to the limit; I soon would be dead. The same thing had happened before; had Slade captured me? The odd thing was that there was no pain; nothing like what I had felt before, just mild shocks at random intervals. As suddenly as it started, it stopped. I heard the sound of metal on metal, then footsteps, travelling away. A door opened. More footsteps, coming towards me. They stopped. The only noise that I heard was the sound of my own heavy breathing. I felt someone standing over me. I probably looked weak; helpless. I felt a nudge. I opened my eyes, and there was darkness.  
"Who... Who's there?" I asked, afraid. The paranoia had returned, but then it was gone as quickly as it came. My head hurt. I was feeling dizzy.  
"Terra, we've done something to you." A familiar voice replied. "We're not entirely sure exactly how accident-prone you are, and the constant feeling of paranoia sure doesn't help, so we've..."  
"What have you done to me?!" I screamed, interrupting. I strangly began to calm down.  
"We've taken control of your nervous system." Another voice replied. Someone turned on the light. Raven and Robin were in the room.  
"What? Why?!" I replied, angrilly. I didn't feel different now; my rage was building.  
"We need you to feel safe and normal." Raven said. "You're too unstable, both emotionally and physically."  
"So, is this my life now? To be your puppet?" I shot back. I looked at my feet. Cyborg ran in the room.  
"Guys, Slade's attacking the city. Let's go!" 


	5. Bad Feelings

Terra had been giving some armor to cover her skin, thus preventing any more injuries from happening. She was a bit paranoid about the entire episode, remembering bad times and distant accusations. It had gone on under her clothing; one piece ran from the the top of her shirt to the bottom of her torso, covering her arms, as well; The second covering her legs. She tried futily to calm herself down; she practically jumped into the arms of Beast Boy once she saw him. She was afraid. Fear was her most frequent emotion these past few days. After some comforting from Beast Boy, she went with them. Downtown was a mess; buildings had crumbled into the street, and fires had broken out. This reminded Terra of the destruction she herself has caused, back when she was a puppet. She still was one, though, except now a puppet with a new puppeteer. Terra shivered. Something about this just didn't seem right.  
"Titans, fan out. He's got to be around here somewhere." Robin ordered. Everyone went off in different directions, and Terra found herself left alone, in the middle of a desolate, rubble-littered road. She sighed, clenched her fists, and started walking. Her mind flashed back to previous experiences. Images of Slade clouded her mind. She shut her eyes tight, head turned towards the ground. These were painful memories, and she wanted to forget them. She wanted to deny that Slade had ever existed. How could she, though, when she was one of six looking for him? She began to contemplate that he knew where she was, and was just waiting, biding time, until he got his opportunity, his one clear chance to destroy her. Knowing that there were five other targets in the area somehow made her feel less edgy. There was a one in six chance that Slade would find her.... or she would find Slade. She felt a tap on her shoulder. Her body tensed up, and she clenched her teeth, waiting for the inevitable first strike. Her fears were soon dispelled, though, as Beast Boy walked around to her front.  
"Terra? Are you okay?" Beast Boy asked, noticing that Terra's eyes had a glossy look to them, and were streched wide, as if she was thinking distant thoughts. "Terra? Snap out of it." He waved his hand in front of her eyes. She didn't blink. She whimpered. Beast Boy turned around to walk into a punch from Slade, which knocked him into a wall several feet away. Terra was paralyzed; Slade grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. Her feet dangled above the ground; her arms hung limply by her sides.  
"W-wh.... what do you want with me?" Terra asked weakly. Slade chuckled.  
"Oh, my dear, it's not so much what I want with you then what I want for you."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"The titans. They pretend to be your friends. It's all a charade."  
"The titans are my friends..."  
"Is that what they would have you believe? They think you're a joke, Terra. They're just waiting until you're of no further use to them. They have control of you, and they want to use you as a puppet. Those probes running around inside your body can kill you with the flick of a switch. You think you belong there. You don't. They hate you, Terra. They want to destroy you."  
"Liar!" Terra screamed, thrashing about, trying to get Slade to release her from his iron grip.  
"Poor, poor Terra. The only lie here... is the one you're living."  
"Put her down, Slade." Slade turned around, still grasping Terra. His eyes met with Robin's. Slade's grip tightened; he began to choke Terra.  
"No." Slade replied. "I'll kill her before you make me let go." Terra was no longer thrashing as much; she felt the life being taken out of her. She felt a sudden, sharp pain in her throat, and she fell to the ground. She gasped for air, not so much aware of what was happening around her. Robin and Slade had gotten into a sparring contest; Beast Boy was beginning to wake up. The others were not to be found. Terra turned over what Slade had told her in her mind. Was it true? It was true that she was only a shell of her former, angrier self. Would the titans actually take advantage of that, though? The people who had professed to be her friends throughout the last week? She painfully rolled over onto her stomach and began to crawl towards Beast Boy, the only one who had ever understood her. By now, Cyborg, Starfire and Raven had all appeared to help Robin fight Slade. It was a losing battle, though. She reached Beast Boy after what had seemed like an eternity; he was awake now, catching his breath before having to fight again. Beast Boy noticed Terra, grabbing her arm and helping her to her feet.  
"Terra, you're so cold..." Beast Boy said softly.  
"He wants me to run..." Terra replied.  
"What?" Beast Boy answered.  
"Slade wants me to run. He's hoping that I'll get afraid and run, so he can hunt me down at his leisure. Well, I'm tired of running away. If he wants me, he can come and get me."  
"Terra, that's crazy talk."  
"No. It's called fighting your fears." Terra walked away from Beast Boy and stood in front of Slade. "Slade." Slade threw Robin into Cyborg.  
"Terra."  
"Leave him alone, guys, I have to do this. How about it, Slade. You and me. One on one. For the first time. Right here. Right now."  
"Consider your challenge... accepted."  
"What is she doing?" Raven asked, obviously confused.  
"Don't you see? She's fighting him so that she doesn't have to be afraid of him anymore. Her fear of him made her feel weak inside; if she fights him, she won't feel so weak." Beast Boy replied.  
"Such bravery..." Starfire commented. Slade lunged at Terra, but Terra rolled out of the way. Terra picked up some rubble with her powers and threw it at Slade, concentrating. Slade jumped over it. Slade went for a punch, but Terra parried and hit back with a leg sweep. Slade fell to the ground. Terra picked up a wall and guided it over where Slade was laying. Terra's eyes stared at Slade harshly. Her arms shook, and she dropped them limply to her sides.  
"Terra, what are you doing? Finish him!" Robin screamed. Terra couldn't tear her mind away from what she was about to do. She was about to take a life. She couldn't do it, but she knew she had to. Tears began to stream down her cheeks, stinging her cold skin. She threw the wall away from her; she had spared Slade's life. She collapsed to her knees and began to sob, head buried in her hands.  
"I can't do it!" Terra screamed. "I can't kill him! It's just not right!" Slade staggered to his feet and chuckled.  
"You have amazing potential, Terra, but your emotions make you weak, and as long as you are able to have emotion, you will never be as strong as you can be." Slade said, before diving into an open manhole. Beast Boy ran over to comfort Terra.  
"See, Terra? See what just happened? That's the difference between what Slade did and what we have done. We didn't force you to make a certain choice. You made your own choices." Beast Boy exclaimed, beaming proudly. "And I'm glad to say that you made the right desicions." He turned to face the other titans. "Do you guys think we have a vancancy on the team?" Robin smiled.  
"I'm sure something can be arranged."  
  
Terra was quiet the entire way back to Titans Tower. Had she really given up the chance to kill Slade, the man who had wronged her and her friends on more than one occasion, to feel more human? Terra did not wish to remember what was running through her head as she stood there above Slade, ready to end his life. She thought that she was a monster. When they all arrived back, she was feeling depressed. She decided that she would take a shower, and then go to sleep. It was only mid-afternoon, but she already felt drained. She went to sleep remembering how happy Beast Boy was when the decision she had made turned out to be the right one.  
  
A knock on the door. Terra opened one eye, and looked at the clock. It had been two hours since she had fallen asleep. "Come in!" She shouted. Beast Boy opened the door.  
"We have something for you." He said. She pulled back the covers and got out of the bed. She followed Beast Boy to the living room, which had been decorated with balloons. All of the others stood there, smiling.  
"Terra." Robin said enthusiastically. "Welcome to the Teen Titans!" A big grin appeared on Terra's face.  
"Really?"  
"Really."  
"Wow, thank you all so much." She began to cry. "This means a lot to me."  
"I propose a toast." Beast Boy proclaimed, handing Terra a glass filled with wine. "To Terra. A new teammate, and one hell of a good friend." Terra found her arms wrapping themselves around Beast Boy. He returned the favor.  
  
"What do you mean she's sick?"  
"You heard me, man. She's out of it, down for the count. And it's actually all our fault."  
"Huh?"  
"Those probes. They've done more harm than good."  
"Are you sure? Robin said..."  
"Robin was wrong. Her body temperature is 120 degrees. That's not exactly normal."  
"Son of a bitch." A crash. "Will she be alright?"  
"I don't know, BB. I can get the probes to deactivate easily enough, but if she's going to fully recover remains to be seen." Terra opened her eyes. People were talking outside the door, and from what she had gotten out of their conversation, they had been talking about her. She felt incredibly hot. She wiped sweat off her temple, and pulled back the sheets. She felt fragile and weak; although the party of the night before had lifted her spirits a little, she was depressed again. She felt odd; almost as if this entire thing was some incredibly vivid dream. She stood up; her knees locked up and she fell forward. Beast Boy opened the door. His eyes immediately shot to her, laying motionless on the floor.  
"Terra!" He yelled, rushing to her aid. Cyborg came running in behind him. Beast Boy picked her up and placed her on top of the bed. Terra was having trouble breathing now, though she could make no indication about it. Somehow, Cyborg knew, placing an oxygen mask over her mouth. "Cyborg, what's going on?"  
"The probes. They're fighting her," Cyborg responded, "and they're winning. Shit, there's one... There's one stuck in her throat."  
"How do we get it out?" Beast Boy asked, desperately.  
"Go find Robin. Get him to bring the control here." Cyborg replied. Beast Boy ran off. "And get an ice pack!" Cyborg shouted after him. He turned his attention to Terra. "Alright, Terra. I know this will put a big strain on your body, but I need you to calm down. Try your hardest to get your heart beating normally. Don't try to talk, just do it. BB's on the way with the probe control, and we're going to shut them down." Terra's eyes widened. Her limbs, which were limp, stiffened. Beast Boy ran back into the room, ice pack in hand; Robin trailed behind him. Terra stared at the ceiling unblinkingly. Her chest was no longer rising and falling.  
"Damnit! Is she... dead?" Beast Boy asked, sadly.  
"Nope. Her vitals still check out." Cyborg replied. He turned to Robin. "Give me the control." Robin handed Cyborg a small, black box. "BB, try to comfort her. This is going to hurt." Beast Boy sat down next to Terra. Cyborg turned a dial on the control, and electricity crackled over Terra's skin. Terra clenched her teeth and shut her eyes tightly. The pain was unbearable, but Terra thought that she had to survive. She opened her eyes and yelped.  
"So this is what it's like to... feel helpless..." Terra strained. As suddenly as the pain started, it stopped, and she passed out.  
"Terra! Wake up!" Beast Boy said, roughly shaking her.  
"Beast Boy, give it a rest." Cyborg replied. "She's just had some sections of her body shut down. She'll be awake in a few hours." He turned to Robin. "Why did you put those probes in there?"  
"She was too unstable," Robin answered, shrugging, "and we tried to help her."  
"Help her?" Beast Boy asked. "You almost killed her! This is all because you still can't trust her, isn't it? She's still just a person to you, isn't she? You don't know where her alliegences lie, so you have to try and control her, isn't that right? I can't believe that after everything that's gone on in this past week, you still can't trust her! She's had one of the worst weeks of her life, because you can't trust her! I don't know how the hell-"  
"BB, calm down." Cyborg cut him off. "It's true though, Robin. You need to learn to trust her. I'll admit that I didn't trust her at first, either, but her actions have said a lot more than she has. So, what say you give her a chance? Allow her to be a good person?" Robin thought this over a bit.  
"Alright, I'll try. But I'm not making any promises."  
"I think we should let them be alone." Cyborg whispered, nodding towards Beast Boy and Terra. Cyborg and Robin left the room. Beast Boy leaned close to Terra's face. She looked so calm. A far cry from what things had been like for her.  
"Terra, I know you can hear me. I never thought that all this would happen. I knew that the others wouldn't trust you as much as they did before, but I never thought that it would be to this extent. I want you to know that I've forgiven you completely for everything you've ever done, every bad thing you've ever done." Tears began to trickle down Beast Boy's cheeks. "I know that all you ever wanted was some friends, and a place to call your own. Well, this is the place, and we are your friends, even if the others are still suspicious of you. I knew that all you wanted to do was find a way to redeem yourself for all the pain and suffering Slade made you cause. Well, Terra, you did redeem yourself. You've found redemption more than once, in fact. Everything you've done recently, including your show of mercy yesterday, has proven what a good person you can be. You are troubled, Terra, you are depressed, but you have the power to beat that. You do get emotional sometimes, but it doesn't matter, because you are only human. And as a human, you have a right to be treated like one. I'm going to go talk to the others about that soon. I guess what I'm trying to say here is..... I love you, Terra. I always have and I always will. I'll still love you, even if you die. But you're not going to die, because I can't let that happen. Words can't express how I feel about you, Terra. You really are special. That's why I love you." Terra's eyes slowly opened to the sight of Beast Boy staring her in the face. She pulled him close and kissed him.  
"Beast Boy...." Terra began, speaking softly, "Everything you said was true..." Beast Boy smiled. "Sometimes, I am a little hard on myself, but I just didn't know it until I met you..."  
"Are you alright?" Beast Boy asked, noticing that Terra's skin was turning red.  
"Just a little burning sensation. No big deal." Terra replied, shrugging it off. Beast Boy frowned.  
"It might be. I'll go get Cyborg." He ran off. Terra didn't try to move; her back and neck were really bothering her. There was a knock on the door.  
"Come in!" Terra yelled. Starfire and Raven entered the room.  
"Terra, dear friend!" Starfire exclaimed enthusiastically, practically jumping on Terra. "I hope you are feeling well once more!"  
"How are you feeling?" Raven asked. "Emotionally."  
"Alone." Terra replied somberly. "There's a lot that I still want to learn about myself, and I want to make sure no one here is suspicious of me anymore. That's why I've decided that once this entire thing blows over, I'm going to go away for a while."  
"Alone? Go away?" Starfire asked. "Why?"  
"She's depressed, Star." Raven answered on Terra's behalf.  
"I want to make amends for what I've done." Terra added.  
"But have you not already done enough?" Starfire questioned. "You have apologized, and you have fought Slade. What more can you do?"  
"No, I haven't." Terra replied. "I want to be held responsible for all the emotional and physical damage I've done. I want a chance to fix all the damage I've done. But I've caused so much, I don't think that I'll ever be able to. Besides, living is killing me. Sometimes I think I'm not exactly sane." Cyborg entered the room.  
"Terra, are you cold?" He asked, looking at her skin.  
"No, why?" Terra replied.  
"It looks like it might be frostbite, or a sunburn. And since it's cloudy today, that rules out one of the options."  
"Well, actually... I feel weird. Could I have some morphine?" Terra asked.  
"Certainly, friend!" Starfire cheerfully replied. She left the room.  
"So, Terra, what exactly doesn't feel right?" Cyborg asked. He got no response. "Terra?" He walked over and looked in Terra's eyes. They were glassy and cold, staring distantly into nothing. "Terra? Hello? Raven, can you pick anything up?" Raven closed her eyes.  
"No. She's not thinking anything. I'm sensing no brain activity, either. It's like she's.... just a shell." Beast Boy came into the room.  
"BB, Terra's... not here right now." Cyborg said.  
"What do you mean?" Beast Boy replied. "She's right there."  
"Just her body." Raven responded. There was silence in the room.  
"That's the same way she was before she was attacked by Slade yesterday..." Beast Boy replied softly.  
"Slade's not here, though. What could be happening?" Cyborg asked. Beast Boy began to wimper. "And, no, BB, she's not dead. She's still breathing."  
"Wait, I'm getting something." Raven interrupted. "Memories... memories of Slade, memories of fighting us... I think I know why she's like this."  
"Why?" Beast Boy asked desperately.  
"It's a coping mechanism. She's gotten her body to paralyze itself whenever she thinks of previous traumatic events." Raven explained. Cyborg began to raise a finger. "Cyborg, we all know you're the science guy, but that doesn't mean that the rest of us don't know anything."  
"Can you get in her head?" Beast Boy asked.  
"I can try." Raven replied. There was a silence. "Done." Raven fell to her knees.  
"Raven, are you alright?" Cyborg asked.  
"I should be, but I might need some of the morphine that Star's bringing. Damn, she's strong." Raven replied. Beast Boy ran over to Terra. She blinked.  
"I'm free..." Terra said as Starfire entered the room, medical case in hand. "I'm free because all I ever did was dwell on the past. I could never see the present or the future. I have my demons, but I can overcome them. Right now, though, I feel pretty weak. My mind won't think. I shouldn't move. Most importantly, I need sleep."  
"I suppose we can respect that." Starfire said. "Come on, friends." Cyborg and Raven followed. Beast Boy turned to Terra.  
"It was true, then. You trapped yourself in your own mind. Why didn't you tell me?" Beast Boy asked. Terra sighed.  
"To be honest, Beast Boy, I didn't even know. I didn't even know I caused it." Terra opened the medical case, pulling out a needle. Beast Boy sat there, deep in thought.  
"But... if you didn't cause it... who did?" Beast Boy asked.  
"I don't know." 


	6. Breakdown

NOTE: This chapter is written from Beast Boy's point of view.  
  
I woke up and yawned. Had I actually fallen asleep? I thought I never would, thinking about yesterday. I loved Terra, and I would stop at nothing to make sure that she could get through this. I thought of only one person who could do this to her; Slade, the man who had put her on life support, both physically and emotionally. I'd curse that name for as long as I lived. I walked to the bathroom, sneaking a peek in Terra's room on the way there. She wasn't in her bed; in fact, her bed was made and unwrinked, as if no one had slept there. I shrugged it off. No big deal. She was probably already up. I mean, where else could she be, right? I cleaned up and got dressed, then I headed off to the living room, where the other titans were waiting. Except... no Terra.  
"Where's Terra?" I asked, starting to get a little freaked out. The last time this happened, Terra resurfaced on the doorstep, battered and bruised.  
"We thought she was with..." Starfire replied. There was a silence in the room. The sound of helicopter blades could be heard in the distance. Cyborg finally broke the silence with what we were all thinking.  
"Shit." The sound of helicopter blades had gotten closer. There was a large crash as a window exploded inward. We all glaced towards the now gaping hole. There was a helicopter idling in the air. The hatch opened. Slade stepped out.  
"Slade." Robin said, angrilly.  
"Oh, don't mind me, titans." Slade grimly replied. "I'm just here to return a package." Slade disappeared for a moment. He reappeared holding Terra's limp, lifeless body by the neck. He threw her onto the floor of the tower.  
"You bastard!" I yelled. I wanted to take his head off right then and there. "I fucking hate you!" Slade chuckled.  
"Is that so? Well, titans, consider this only a warning." Slade laughed manically as the helicopter flew up into the air. Laying on the floor in front of me was not Terra; it was a mangled, bloody carcass of flesh and bone. I fell to my knees. The rest of the titans bent down over Terra.  
"Hold the funeral, BB. She's alive." Cyborg said. "But what Slade did to her.... it's sick."  
"Do I want to know?" I asked.  
"Might as well get it out of the way." Cyborg replied. "This is not for the weak of heart. Terra's legs and arms have been broken... in several places. The temperature of the blood allows me to assume that this was pretty recent; maybe within the past three hours or so. I can't actually determine what happened." He turned to Raven. "That's more of your department, isn't it?"  
"I'm going to try to find out what happened." Raven responded. "But, I don't think that Terra's going to be the same Terra anymore. Whatever happened to her probably provided extreme emotional trauma."  
"And she was already traumatized enough." Starfire added. Raven signaled for silence. She closed her eyes. I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to hear this, but I knew that it would keep bugging me if I didn't. Raven's face twisted up into an expression of fear and horror.  
"This is disturbing." Raven began. "Earlier this morning, someone suffocated Terra while she was making coffee. She woke up chained to a wall. Slade forced her to stay awake while he broke every bone in her arms and legs, one by one. He threatened to kill us all if she fell unconcious. This wasn't normal. This was torture." Raven stared at me, her eyes cold and full of hate. "If you thought Slade was a bastard before, you haven't seen anything yet." I felt like I was going to be sick.  
"We'll all remember this," Robin said, "but will Terra remember anything else?"  
  
Cyborg wanted to put Terra in stasis, hooked up to life support, so she wouldn't be hurt any more than she already had been. I agreed once he convinced me it was the best thing to do. I just wondered what would happen when she woke up in a dark room; feeling cold, useless, alone. If she woke up. Then, it dawned on me. Terra was depressed because she had no way of letting go of all of her emotion. She'd been relatively quiet for the past week, always just there. She'd been sad a lot, but she was only angry once. She couldn't get angry, though. If she got angry or excited, she would die. Unless.... unless that gash in her stomach was healed. It was unlikely, I knew, but if it was... Terra could go back to being Terra. She wouldn't have to feel depressed or useless anymore, and she could use her full power. I was thinking this several hours after Slade had flown away, sitting in the living room. The others were doing normal afternoon stuff, except for Raven. She was in her room, trying to concentrate her powers, so that she would be able to completely heal Terra one-hundred percent. Suddenly, the ground shook, and some rubble fell from the ceiling. The shaking subsided a few seconds later.  
"Everyone alright?" Cyborg asked. We all nodded.  
"Pretty weird time for an earthquake." Robin noted.  
"She's awake..." I said, letting the thought trail. I ran off to the chamber where Terra's body had been stored. She was floating in a tank filled with a blue liquid. Her eyes were closed and she looked so peaceful, yet I knew that the pain must have been driving her insane. More insane then she already was, at least... Almost if on cue, her eyes shot open. On her face, she had a panicked expression. She spotted me, and she still looked scared. The ground started to shake again. I steadied myself, and walked closer to the tank. I put my hand against the cold glass. I could see her more clearly now; tears were welling up in her eyes. I dare not pull her out; the pain would surely overwhelm her. I couldn't stand to see her like this, though. I went over to the control panel. I wanted to drain some of the liquid from the tank, only enough that her head was above it, and her limbs remained unharmed. Now, which button controlled the draining mechanism? Cyborg had taken the time to label all the buttons, probably to avoid confusion, so the drain button was easily found. I pressed it and held it down for about forty seconds. Terra's head surfaced. I let go and went over to the tank, where I opened an air vent.  
"Terra!" I yelled, unsure of if she could hear me. "Are you alright?" The answer I got was not what I expected to get.  
"I'm useless." Terra said, in a matter-of-fact tone. "I'm useless!" She repeated, screaming this time. An earthquake then ripped through the tower, knocking stuff off the walls and knocking me off my feet. Rubble began to fall from the ceiling; pieces that could qualify as rather large rocks. I rolled to the door, rocks buring where I was just moments before. The others joined me.  
"What's going on in there?" Cyborg asked.  
"It's Terra." I replied. "She's had a breakdown."  
"Why didn't you try and stop her?" Robin inquired. I sighed.  
"Do you really want me to try and stop that?" I answered, motioning in towards the room. We had a clear view of Terra from the doorway; tears running down her cheeks from bloodshot eyes, the look of fear on her face, the destruction she was causing.  
"I underestimated her anguish." Raven interjected. "She seemed far less pained then than she is now." Robin's communicator beeped. He moved a few feet away, then answered it.  
"Yeah. Alright, we're on it." He said. He turned to us. "Slade's attacking downtown with earthquakes."  
"Isn't that ironic?" Raven replied, listlessly.  
"We're going to need to leave Terra here alone..." I mentioned. The earthquake had died down a lot, but it was still present. All we could hear from the room was the sound of Terra sobbing.  
"If we're going after Slade, she'll be fine." Robin replied. "Titans, go!"  
  
"I thought I warned you, titans." Slade said. He had been waiting for us downtown. "I warned that if you came after me, for revenge after what I did to the girl, there would be serious ramifications."  
"What the hell are you talking about, ramifications?" Cyborg asked. "The only ramification you're involved with is the ramification of you getting your ass handed to you for screwing around with both Terra's body and mind!"  
"Mind? I didn't touch the girl's mind. She was already unstable enough as she was, so I thought I shouldn't tamper with something so fragile, and so worthless to me, anyway."  
"Terra's mind isn't worthless! She has feelings, and that is something that someone like you will never know!" Starfire replied.  
"Arn't those "feelings", as you call them, what lead her to betray you in the first place? And to think, you all played so perfectly into my hand. I have a little game to play, that I'm sure you'll all enjoy. I have a certain trigger. This trigger will activate a small chip implanted in the back of the girl's head. The chip will send electrical impulses to the brain, which will flood the girl's mind with horrible, repressed memories. She'll be driven completely insane within five minutes. Then, I will be able to use her again. I'll be able to use her to destroy you and all of Jump City. Most importantly, I'll be able to use her to destroy her own free will. To make things interesting, I'm going to give you a ten minute head start. Good luck." Slade then jumped away into the shadows.  
"That fucking son of a bitch! Let me at him! I'll kill him with my own two hands!" I screamed in blind rage. Raven tapped me on the shoulder. She only said one word, and with that one word, I knew that we needed to get back to the tower fast.  
"Terra."  
  
The ground started to shake two miles away from the tower. When we arrived and stepped out of the car, we all almost were knocked off our feet. We ran up the stairs carefully, dodging debris. We got into the room we had left Terra in. She had fallen silent now; she looked to be in immense pain. The earthquake was growing more powerful quickly; we needed to find a way to get that chip out of Terra's head. Cyborg ran over to the control panel, and thumbed the draining mechanism furiously.  
"How much time do we have left?" Cyborg asked, now charging over to Terra's stasis tube to remove her broken body from it.  
"Three minutes." Raven responded, calmly.  
"Raven, hack into her mind. Try to reassure her that everything will be fine." Starfire said urgently.  
"I'm going, I'm going." Raven replied, unenthusiastically. Cyborg grabbed Terra's body and carried it over to us. I didn't know what to think. The woman I loved could kill any one of us at any minute.  
"How much time?" Cyborg inquired again.  
"A minute and thirty seconds." Robin replied. "Hurry it up, Cyborg."  
"Damn." Cyborg muttered. Raven closed her eyes. Cyborg flipped Terra over onto her stomach. "Slade said the chip was in the back of her head, right?"  
"Yeah." I replied. "Come on, Cy, sixty seconds."  
"I'm digging, but all I can see is blonde." Cyborg replied frantically. He brushed Terra's hair aside, letting it fall on the floor. "I can't find..... got it!" Cyborg pointed at a small, black chip embedded in Terra's scalp. On it was a single bulb. Just as Cyborg was moving in to remove it, the light turned on and the chip beeped. "What the hell does that mean?" I answered.  
"Cy, get Raven out of there. She'll be killed. Slade hit the trigger. Terra's memories are being released. It's started..." Terra screamed, tears running down her cheeks. She began to whimper. "Cy, get Raven out of there now!" I yelled.  
"Just wait a minute!" Cyborg yelled back. He pulled the chip out of Terra's scalp, drawing blood and staining her hair red. The ground thundered beneath our feet.  
"I can slow it down, but I can't stop its effect on her!" Raven screamed, the sound of the earthquake almost drowning her out. "Knock her out!" Terra was thrashing about wildly now. I dropped to my knees beside her.  
"Terra, I'm sorry I have to do this." I apologized. I covered her nose and mouth with my hand. It was hard to keep on top of her, but eventually she stopped fighting and fell unconcious. She looked so peaceful now. My heart felt heavy for what I just had to do. After everything that had happened, I had to be the one. I hoped that I didn't hurt her. Her face was looking a little pale, so maybe.... no, I pushed the thought from my mind. Simple paranoia was all that was. All I had to do was wait for a little while to see if she was alright. A big part of all the things that happened recently was waiting. I chuckled to myself. I could do nothing right now; I felt so useless. Probably only a shade of what Terra felt, though. I followed Robin and Starfire out of the room. A wave of depression washed over me. I didn't want to end up being like Terra, but all this was pushing me over the edge. There was one thing I could do about it, though, that she couldn't; I could become angry without dying a little more. I went to the gym, wanting to get some rage out. Rage against the bastard who had screwed us all over. Next time he came, I wanted to make sure I was ready for him. Ready so I could send him straight to hell, where he belonged.  
  
I sat down, gasping for air. I thought that was a good workout. I looked at a nearby clock. Only fourty minutes had passed since I started. I thought I should get in the shower when my communicator beeped. I pulled it out of my pocket and opened it up. Cyborg was on the other end. "Yeah?" I asked.  
"BB, you busy?" He asked.  
"No, just finished up." I replied.  
"Good. We have a little suprise for you down here. Check it out when you have time." Cyborg chuckled. "I think you're really gonna like it."  
"Alright, I'll be there in a few." I answered. I dropped it back in my pocket. I already knew what the suprise was, but it confounded me. I could hear her breathing. How was she alive? Why wasn't she crying or going insane? I knew that Cy and Raven were good from a medical and psychological standpoint, respectively, but were they really good enough to fix Terra's broken body and cure her of her demons? It seemed to be the case, but lately, a lot of things didn't appear to be what they seemed. I mulled this over a bit. All this violence and psychological lockdown made my head hurt. I tried not to read into these events too deeply, but there were thoughts that lingered in the back of my mind; thoughts that I might once have known the answers to. I shrugged it off, thinking that it was too simple to be so complex. I wiped some sweat off my temple, sighed, got up, and went to see what Cy had done.  
  
I walked in the room to a sight I thought I would never see: Terra, not only happy, but actually laughing. Cyborg looked up from the paper to acknowlege me. "You like what we did?" He asked.  
"What did you do with the real Terra?" I asked, dumbstruck. Cyborg laughed.  
"That is the real Terra. Raven healed her up, and we were able to get those nasty depressing thoughts out of her head. I know it's a bit of a change from the brooding, sad Terra, but this is the real her. Remember what she was like when we first met her?" I nodded. "Anyway, she's waiting for you. Go talk to her; she really wants to see you." I mustered up the courage to go over and talk to her.  
"Um... Terra?" She turned around, smiling. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes, but I didn't care. She stood up. The smile was gone, now; there were tears in her eyes, too. We hugged. Her skin was cold against mine. Nothing could have ruined this moment for me. For the first time in months, Terra was free. This emotion was overwhelming, but since everything was fine, I relaxed a bit and let it take me over. Here was this woman who I loved through good and bad; though we had our share of roadblocks to overcome, my feelings for her right now were stronger than ever before. Raven came to the door. She saw us and smiled.  
"I don't mean to break up this happy moment, but Robin wants us all. Now." Cyborg put down the paper, and we all followed Raven back to Robin. Slade was on the video screen. I became angry, but Terra put my hand on my shoulder, reassuring me.  
"It's nice to see that the girl has recovered nicely." Slade said somberly. "A minor setback, I assure you. My dear Terra, do you remember when you betrayed the titans?" I had tried to cover Terra's ears with my hands, but I was too late. Terra fell to her knees, whimpering and quivering. "That's a good girl. You're the only one that can see that I have all the moves in this game of chess, and all of them begin with your destruction." I dropped next to Terra.  
"We've forgiven you, Terra. You've redeemed yourself from the bad you've done. Don't let that bastard play mind games with you." I shouted.  
"You've made your point, Slade. Terra is extremely emotionally unstable. However, that doesn't mean the rest of us are." Raven replied, facing the monitor.  
"That's true, but I need only the strongest member of the team to wipe the rest out. If memory serves, Terra beat you all before, correct?" Slade asked.  
"You were controlling her!" Starfire screamed. Slade chuckled.  
"Perhaps. However, the girl is now uncontrollable. You should find out what I mean if you want her to live past today. Meanwhile, I also left a little present for you outside. Good day." The monitor flickered off, making a buzzing sound. Starfire ran to a nearby window.  
"I think we might have a little problem." She said, her voice wavering in fear. I got to my feet and went over to where she was. What was out there was not very appropriate for a time like this. Cinderblock. Plasmus. Roughly a thousand of Slade's robots. I looked over at Terra; her knees were pulled up to her chin, and she clutched her head with her hands, eyes closed tightly; breathing speed increasing. We needed her to stop them, but not if she was like this. I wondered what Slade meant, uncontrollable. The one problem that Terra had that she couldn't control was... her heart.  
"Guys, I think I figured out what Slade meant." I shouted, gaining attention from everyone. "He's done something to her heart. Now's not the time to figure out what; she's going to have a heart attack, if shock doesn't kill her first. We need to calm her down!"  
"I can stop her heart," Raven replied somberly,"but it might kill her." I slammed my fist against the wall.  
"Dammit, we have no other option!" I yelled.  
"Yes, we do. There's still some morphine in the bathroom." Cyborg responded. "At the very least, it'll help her relax."  
"Well, what are you wating for?" I replied. "Go!"  
"Oh, right." Cyborg ran off. I went over to Terra. She shivered when I touched her cheek. I laid her down on her back.  
"Terra, can you hear me?" I asked desperately. She looked at me, eyes wide and afraid.  
"Beast Boy..." She struggled. "I'm losing focus. Vision getting... blurry. I think... I'm dying."  
"I won't let you!" I screamed, tears welling up in my eyes. I put my hand on her chest. Her heart was beating normally. "Wait a minute... this isn't right." There was the sound of glass shattering. Footsteps quickly approaching where we were. Slade jumped into the door and kicked me away from Terra. Robin lunged at him, but Slade dodged, sending him crashing to the floor. Starfire flew at Slade, but he caught her and threw her at Raven. Slade quickly scooped Terra up in his arms. He came over to me and stepped on my throat.  
"You fool!" He chuckled. "Your feelings for my apprentice clouded your judgment! I was bluffing! Now, the next time you see her, she will be under my control! That's only if you live to see her, because everyone outside really wanted to get in. So I let them. Have fun!"  
"Oh, I will." A voice said. Cyborg was standing behind Slade, energy cannon against his head. "Put her down or I'll kill you. A blast from this close range will surely destroy any hope you have of ever manipulating anyone ever again."  
"Have it your way." Slade replied. He dropped Terra to the floor, turned around and kicked Cyborg to the ground. He laughed. "See this, Terra? When I'm finished with you, you're going to be this strong. Strong enough to take out all the titans without breaking a sweat."  
"You'll never get started." Terra replied, making her way to her feet, clutching her shoulder. "We're through, Slade, finished. We have been for a long time. Fuck your delusions of power, and fuck making me your puppet. I'm not going to let you manipulate me anymore." Terra's bright, piercing blue eyes stared coldly at Slade. "I'm not going to be afraid anymore, Slade. I'm not going to let you take me and toy with my emotions. You've screwed with my mind so damn much, I thought I could never shake the depression, the numbness. I have, Slade, and if there's one more thing that I can do to gain redemption for all the wrong you caused me to do, all the regrets you caused me to have, it will be ending your miserable, pathetic existance. I'm going to kill you, Slade, for all the anger, all the violence, all the bad feelings, all the hurt that you inflicted upon me and everyone else. I'm going to kill you, Slade, and there's not a fucking thing you can do about it."  
"Is that so?" Slade asked. "Let me remind you, Terra, you made all the desicions of your own regard. You wanted to destroy the titans. You had regrets at first, but you went through with it all. Don't try to paint yourself as the victim here. You made your own choices. If there's anyone who should die for what they've done, it's you. I believe Beast Boy said it best, right? You have no friends."  
"Yes, she does." Raven replied, getting up. "Terra may have made bad decisions, but who hasn't? It's what makes her human, and that's something a monster like you will never be."  
"Raven's right." Cyborg added, slowly rising to a standing position. "Since coming back to life, Terra's earned our forgiveness, and our respect, through her actions. On the other hand, you will never be forgiven, and you will never be respected."  
"All you are is evil." Starfire contributed, hovering in the air. I staggered to my feet.  
"And as evil, you are the reason why we're all here. We're here to destroy you. Good may not be able to exist without evil, but evil can't exist without good, either." I stated. Robin got up.  
"Why can't you just accept it, Slade? Terra's not yours. Terra's not ours. Terra's her own person, and there's nothing that anyone can do to change that. You may not be able to accept it, but I'm sure that maybe we can beat some sense into you. Is everyone alright?" Robin looked around. Everyone nodded. I knew what was coming. I turned my hands into fists. "Slade, we're about to teach you a lesson in friendship and compassion that you will never forget for as long as you live. We're the Teen Titans, and as hard as you try, no matter what kind of warped plan your mind can come up with, there'll be nothing you can do to change that. We all have our problems, but it takes a real son of a bitch to capitalize on that, and no matter what, we'll be there to help each other through the hard times. You know our names, Slade, and as long as you're still breathing, you should come to rue them. Robin. Raven. Cyborg. Starfire. Beast Boy. Terra. The people who will bring you your defeat."  
"How touching," Slade replied, "but how weak and useless. Emotion only exists so people can show their weaknesses and vulerabilities. Those are the things to capitalize on. I've enjoyed this chat, but I must be going. I'm sure that Cinderblock and Plasmus would love to continue the discussion of friendship with you." Slade jumped at the window, breaking the glass. The near wall exploded inward, almost hitting Terra with debris. Cinderblock and Plasmus loomed over us, hundreds of robots surrounding them, all designed to bring us our defeat. I walked over to Terra, and we kissed.  
"You two are an item once more! How wonderful!" Starfire exclaimed.  
"Uh, Star, do you think you could be happy for them later?" Raven asked. The robots stalled outside the room.  
"Cyborg, turn on the probes!" Terra shouted, a yellow aura beginning to surround her hands, which were open-palmed in front of her.  
"Are you sure?" Cyborg asked, powering up his energy cannon.  
"Just do it!" Terra replied. Cyborg thumbed the switch. Terra's body crackled with electricity, but she showed no signs of being in pain. "Thanks!"  
"Everyone ready?" Robin asked. Everybody nodded in approval. "All right. Terra, how does it feel to be in your first fight as a Teen Titan?"  
"The adrenaline is already flowing through my veins." Terra responded. "No more being afraid. No more bad feelings. All that matters is this, right here, right now! No more having to deal with everything I regret!"  
"That's the spirit!" I replied happily. "Now, who's ready to kick some villain ass?"  
"I think we all are!" Robin responded. "Wait for it. Wait for it." The robots started to flood into the room in droves. "Alright, everyone, now! Titans, go!" We all dashed forward, Starfire and Raven flying. In between transformation, I glanced over at Terra. Her body was covered in electricity, but all she was doing was beating up robots. I smiled. In her supercharged state, she was taking out one hundred, two hundred, three hundred robots with extreme ease. Cinderblock and Plasmus lerched forward, ready to try to beat us. I wouldn't hold it against them. After all, they could try. 


	7. Earthquake, Part One

TERRA  
"I've got the rest of the robots! You guys take care of the goons!" I yelled. The other titans started to mount an offensive on Plasmus. I would have helped, but I was a little preoccupied dodging attacks and crushing steel with my hands. The pleasure I had taken before in watching my foes crumble to the ground returned, stronger than ever. The adrenaline was already starting to wear off; my skin stung, my limbs sore. Just a few more to go. Something hit my shoulder hard. I winced in pain. Something pulled my legs out from under me, and I fell to the ground. So much pain, so much vulnerability. All I could feel were their fists, cold and metallic against my skin. I tried to yell for help, but I was paralyzed. I was afraid. I felt stronger suddenly, as if someone had flicked a switch and turned my body back on. Emotion was giving me power. I thought about what they had tried to do, and I grew angry. Yellow flames engulfed me, and the next thing I knew all of my foes were dead. Cinderblock and Plasmus were retreating. I had won. Beast Boy ran over to me and helped me up. "Way to go, Terra!" He congratulated me. I couldn't feel my body, like it was detached; numb. "What's wrong? You don't look too hot." The world went black.

"Terra." My head throbbed. At least some feeling had returned. I moaned, just to let Beast Boy know I was awake. I felt hot. "It's a good thing you're up. You sort of zoned out for a minute or two, and then collapsed. Don't be afraid; what happened to you was perfectly normal, at least from what Cy said. You used up all your energy, simple as that. You also had a broken rib. The weirdest thing, though, your wrists and shins began to swell for some reason. They're on ice, so the pain should be a little more bearable, if not nonexistant. Don't try to move; you're still pretty weak, and you have a fever." Yes, I could feel more now. I was dripping with sweat. I tried to breathe, but I felt no air in my lungs. I had to wonder, though. How could all that happen to me merely from using all my energy? I didn't understand, and at the moment I couldn't begin to. All I could do was recover. I heard a door open and close. Voices outside my room. "How is she?" Robin asked.  
"She should be alright. I'm concerned for her, though. Her body's going through a lot, and it's hard for her to be at top strength." Beast Boy replied. "I'm just glad that she woke up."  
"This has been going on for too long. We need to find Slade and put him away for good."  
"I agree, but could we wait until Terra's better? I think it'll give her some closure if she strikes with the killing blow."  
"We're running short on time. If she's going to get better, it had better be within the next twenty-four hours." Sound was drifting in and out now; soon, I would be asleep. That was the one thing I had enough of. I needed to get better; to stop living this risk-filled lifestyle. That task could never be completed as long as he was still out there. Slade. The man who ruined my life, who toyed with me at every instance. It's all my fault, though. If all that stuff had never happened, he never would have met me. How confused I was. How confused I still am. It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself, though. Regret, fear, hatred, they all controlled my life. Not anymore. The ground began to shake beneath me. I bared my teeth. I wasn't even using my powers; they were using me. I opened my eyes, the world violently shaking into focus. I staggered to my feet. The door flew open, Beast Boy and Robin staring at me. Shock; awe; I didn't know. The shaking died down, and I stumbled into Beast Boy's arms.  
"Terra... stop pushing yourself." He whispered to me. He helped me over to where I was lying moments before. He looked at his feet. "I don't want you to kill yourself."  
"Don't feel sorry for me. I don't even deserve to be alive. You should have left me in that cave to rot."  
"Why do you have to be like this? I know, I know it's how you really feel, and I know you're messed up beyond anything the rest of us could ever fathom, but why do you have to be so gloomy all the time? That's what Raven's job is," Beast Boy exclaimed, "and besides, this new Terra, the one with all the problems and the issues, she's not the girl I fell in love with."  
"Why can't you just drop it?" I growled back, angrilly. "Do I really need a reason to feel the way I feel? Why can't you get it through your head? I betrayed you. I betrayed him. I betrayed everyone here. I betrayed everyone else in the city," the fury left my voice, "I betrayed Slade. But most importantly, I betrayed myself, and that is something that I'll never be able to forgive myself for."  
"Terra, you're being too hard on yourself-"  
"So what if I am? Does it really matter? I screwed everyone over, yet I was just a puppet myself. A god damn puppet!" I shut my eyes, bared my teeth, and dropped my head into my hands. "That's all I was.... A puppet."  
"Terra..." I felt Beast Boy wrap his arm around me. A sudden pain struck me; it was familiar, yet distant. I started coughing up blood. My vision became foggy. What was going on? "I feel... kinda weird. Get Raven or Cy or... anyone. Just get me some... medicine or something." Beast Boy's arm fell limp. I slumped forward onto the floor, hearing Robin dash away. Whatever was going wrong, it wasn't just affecting me. I had already crossed my pain threshold, and the only thing left to do was fall unconcious. Hopefully, it would relieve me of some of the pain. My leg twitched; I shuddered and gave up the fight. I was in their hands again; this time, they could kill me if they wanted. I wouldn't mind.

I awoke to darkness, as per usual. I sat up and looked over at the clock. It was ten minutes to five. I felt sick; my head was spinning. My whole body ached. I wasn't in my room; I could make out another figure across from me, still asleep. Beast Boy. I had gotten him sick. It was all my fault. What had I gotten him sick with, though? A cold or a fever, or something much more dangerous? "Influenza." I carefully spun around towards the voice; Raven sat on the floor in the corner. She looked up, her gaze meeting mine. "You both have it." The world was becoming clearer; a slight breeze rustled some papers on a nearby table. "You sort of mumble in your sleep."  
"I can't move my arms."  
"I know. It's the drugs. Terra, you can let down your guard. I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help you."  
"Oh, sure, you seemed real helpful when we fought before."  
"That was then, and this is now. Why can't you accept that?"  
"I don't know"  
"Then let me help. There are people who care about you, regardless of whatever you've done."  
"If people care so much about me, then why does it hurt so much inside? Why do I feel this way?"  
"Why can't you snap out of it? Terra, we've forgiven you." Raven's words seem to echo through the halls.  
"I don't know, alright? If I knew, I'm sure I'd be far more melencholy."  
"Terra, calm down. You don't have full control over your powers back yet." I got chills down my spine. She was right, and I knew it. But control over my powers... it only reminded me of Slade.  
"How do you know you can trust me?"  
"I don't, but it's a chance I'm willing to take. For someone who gets almost twice the sleep as the rest of us combined, you sure are restless."  
"I'm not restless. I'm scared."  
"Are you sorry?"  
"You already know the answer to that."  
"Are you sorry?" Raven repeated.  
"Yes. Yes, I am." Lightning flashed in the distance; rain hit the windows repetitively. It could drive a person mad, that sound. I saw something out of the corner of my eye; a sillohette, there one second and gone the next. "I need to get away from all this, once it blows over."  
"Why wait?"  
"Because you all need my help. There's a war coming. There will be causalties. There will be broken hearts and broken bodies. Good and evil will clash for what may appear to be the final battle, but it won't be. No, the final battle will come much, much later. There will only be one person involved in that battle."  
"For someone scared, you sure are freakishly insightful."  
"I don't know where I get it from. I guess Slade..."  
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. That's the point of all this, Terra. We're trying to help you accept that you have control of your own life. You don't have to run anymore."  
"Running is all I know."  
"Not anymore. Everything is going to be alright, Terra."  
"I hope so, Rae. I hope so."  
"I'll leave you to get some sleep."  
"Night." I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I awoke to the sound of rain beating against the window. I was able to get out of my bed. I went out the door and ran into the other Titans. I didn't know why they were there, but the accusing looks they had on their faces said it all. I sighed. "Alright, what did I do?" I asked sleepily.  
"Open your eyes, Terra." Robin demanded. I did. The hallway lie in ruins. There were holes in the walls, the celing, even the floor. Something didn't feel right in my head. I stumbled backwards, my back hit the door, and I slid to the ground. I couldn't see clearly. I felt something tugging at my mind.  
"Rae, I don't know exactly what I did, but do you think you could... stop doing that?" I said through gasps for breath. My eyes were growing heavy.  
"Stop doing what?" Raven asked. The anger, if there was any, was gone. Now there was only concern. My body was numb; I couldn't think. I knew what was happening.  
"I'm... dying." The door I was up against slid open, and Beast Boy almost tripped over me. I sprawled backwards, my head hitting the floor of the infermery.  
"What the...?" Beast Boy asked. He crouched down beside me and looked into my eyes. "It's posion. Snake venom, actually. Maybe a mixture. Raven, get over here."  
"How do you know?" Cyborg asked, sounding intrigued. The pain in my head grew with every passing second. Beast Boy just looked at him.  
"Dude, you gotta be kidding me. I can turn into animals, remember? It would be pretty useless if I knew nothing about them."  
"I can't take this anymore." Robin interrupted. "This, what's going on, is completely unlike Slade. These... attacks, if we want to call them that, are completely random and there's no real reason behind them."  
"Robin, what if Slade is not the one behind this?" Starfire asked. "This 'poisoning' sounds more like something the Zookeeper would do"  
"Slade's behind it, Star. The needle in her neck has his insignia on it." My head was throbbing by now; I closed my eyes, trying to decrease the pain. As suddenly as the pain started, it stopped. I was imobilized; couldn't move, couldn't think, could barely breathe. My eyes were closed, but I wasn't unconcious; it just might be a while before I could open them. I was haunted by disturbing thoughts and memories; I wouldn't go so far as to say I was dreaming. No, I was very much awake. These things I saw hurt me inside, probably more than I would like to say. I got up in a few hours, as soon as I was sure that I could move. When I next saw them, the Titans were huddled over a monitor.  
"What's going on?" I asked, innocently enough.  
"Terra, come here. You have to see this." Beast Boy motioned with his hand for me to come, never making eye contact. I sighed and walked over. They were huddled over a security tape, of the events earlier today. I gasped, clearly in shock. The person who destroyed Titans Tower... was me. I thought that was impossible; I had been asleep... hadn't I? I was reminded of the time that Supergirl had those dreams of hers, and I felt cold immediately. I shivered. I looked closer; I was wearing my old armor... but Beast Boy told me that Robin had destroyed it. I felt weak and scared. Mind games or not, I think Slade got the one thing he wanted. He finally got my attention.

BEAST BOY Terra just stood there, staring at the monitor in wide-eyed horror. I didn't know what I could do to console her; I thought that maybe it would be better if she could come to terms with this herself. "Terra, you couldn't have done this. It's not like you." I consoled her. "It is." Terra responded. "I know that I probably should have put this out before, but I didn't. That was the wrong choice to make, and I know something about making the wrong choices. This isn't easy for me to admit, but here it goes..." Everyone, including me, was now listening intently to what Terra was about to say. "I like fighting. I enjoy it. Maybe a little too much. I like destroying things with both my powers and my bare hands. I know, I'm sick and I probably shouldn't feel this way, but... I just didn't want you guys to think I'm a freak. My entire life I've been rejected, and after what happened before... I got a second chance, and I didn't want to ruin it... I feel dead on the inside. Maybe I was right; maybe the world is better off without me..." She coughed hard. In all this, I had forgotten that we both still had influenza.  
"Terra, maybe we should get back in bed." I said. "We're not well."  
"No. I heard you and Robin talking last night. We're supposed to be going after Slade in four hours. I'm going to be there." She flatly denied my request.  
"That was before ever- Terra!" She fell forward, shivering. I dove forward and caught her. She was cold to the touch; so cold, it burned my skin. Her eyes has that glassy look in them; I thought she had escaped that. She was silent. I didn't think she was breathing. Then, as quickly has the whole thing began, it stopped. Her gaze became soft; her skin grew warmer. "Terra, what happened?" I asked, concerned. "Are you alright?"  
"Slade can take my body," she said softly, "but he can't take my soul." I hugged her. The others has been talking. Cy came over to us.  
"Um... if you guys don't mind, Rae and I would like to do some tests. We'll start by taking the probes out; with all that's happened, we have reason to believe that Slade's hijacked them somehow."  
"That sounds like Slade, all right." Terra replied. Cy motioned for us to follow him. I thought I saw Terra freeze for a second, but then she was fine. We went to the infirmary. Terra sat on a bed; her eyes had closed. "I am so tired."  
"Terra, I need you to lie on your stomach. There's no need to cause unnecessary irritation while I disconnect the probes from your spinal cord." Cy requested, flicking switches and looking at a monitor. Terra complied.  
"Are there going to be any chemicals involved?" Terra asked, calmly. I could tell that she wasn't scared, but she'd rather do things organically instead of synthetically.  
"None at all." Cy replied, reassuringly. "Not even anesthesia. Don't need it. I just need you to relax. Now, is your back stiff or sore in any way?  
"A little."  
"Muscle pain or nerve damage?"  
"Probably."  
"That's fine. Just take some deep breaths, I'll give you five minutes, and then we'll start." Cy left the room, leaving only Terra and me amid the buzzing of warming-up machinery.  
"I'm scared, Beast Boy." Terra sighed.  
"You've been through worse." I replied.  
"That's just it. I can't take much more of this constant pain and need to restore my body. I've been attacked more here than I've been in my life. I'm on edge. I'm depressed, I'm stressed out. I'm scared. This is nothing like what I was before I met you guys."  
"If you could go back, and have none of this ever happen, and never meet us, would you?" I asked. "We can make that happen. You have powers, Terra. Sometimes, it's easy just being yourself and living your life normally, but it isn't easy being a hero. You have a gift, and although you could do things that no other person could achieve, it's still your life. It's your choice to make."  
"I just need some time away, you know? I was thinking about going to Gotham..." She trailed off. Gotham was far, far away. Too far. Too far to make sense of everything that had happened. Everything that had happened because she had this power, this unbelievable control over the earth beneath her feet.  
"Terra... do you think you would be happier if you never had your powers?" I asked. "If they had never existed? If you were just like everyone else"  
"I can't answer that."  
"Exactly. Because you're Terra. You're the one who brought down this city's greatest defenders, and it's worst enemy. You're the one who sacrificed yourself to save this city, and you didn't care about the risk at all. Since you've come back, you've shown levels of humanity on a completely opposite scale than the vicious, hateful person that you had become. You're-."  
"Stop it, please. I don't want to hear about it." She begged. She was upset. Tears streamed down her face.  
"Terra, I'm sorry." I whispered, regretfully. I knew I shouldn't have brought that up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a green mist pour through the ventillation duct. Robin burst in the room.  
"Beast Boy, get Terra out of here. The tower's been flooded with fear gas."  
"So what, Scarecrow and Slade are working together now?"  
"This isn't a joke. If it can make a normal person crazy, if it can seriously affect Batman, there's no telling what it could do to someone in a heightened emotional state."  
"How did they-"  
"There's no time for questions. Starfire, Cyborg and Raven are already outside. Come on." Robin dashed off. I helped Terra to her feet and followed. I didn't hear her behind me. I spun around. Not in the hallway. Fuck. A voice in the room.  
"What's the matter, Terra? Afraid?" Slade. Son of a bitch. Terra stumbled; she had been pushed. I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her outside. She didn't try to resist.  
"Don't be scared, Terra. It's not real." I assured her. I don't know what she saw - I don't want to know - but she had a look of pure horror on her face. I caught up to the others, Terra behind me. "Slade's in the tower." I gasped. "He dragged Terra back in. Back into the"  
"Ohmygod. Oh, god. No! I won't believe you! You're lying! Why can't you just leave me alone?!" Terra screamed. She had fallen to the ground, hands over her ears. She was crying in fear.  
"What is wrong with Terra?" Starfire asked.  
"Slade dragged her back into the gas." Robin replied.  
"The gas harms her?"  
"It can harm anyone. It can cause hallucinations - and, if untreated - fear-induced heart attacks."  
"Terra couldn't take a heart attack. Her heart's bad enough already." Cy observed.  
"Exactly. Slade's trying to take her down. He's been trying to take her down for the past week and four days. He just hasn't succeeded because we're here." Raven replied calmly.  
"She can't take this anymore." I sighed. "Can someone put her out of her misery?" Terra was now writhing on the ground, muttering to herself.  
"All of our medical equipment is inside. There's nothing we can do." Cy responded solomnly. "I'm sorry, man. Unless she can hold out for an hour or so, she's going to die, and just look how bad she's gotten after three minutes. Unless..."  
"Unless what?" I shouted. "Unless what?!"  
"Unless I blast her. If you really want her to live, someone's going to have to knock her out."  
"It won't work." Robin interjected. "When someone's under the influence, they're impervious to pain."  
"We can't just leave her like this." I replied. "Screw this, I'm going back in." I ran, despite the others attempts to get me to stop. I reached the inside; it was clean. No trace of anything. I dashed back outside. "Guys, it's clean. It's empty."

TERRA I woke up. Everything was hazy. What had happened? Last thing I remember, I was talking to Beast Boy, and then... a blank. "Good to see you're finally awake." Slade chuckled, stepping out from the shadows. "I was beginning to wonder when you would wake up." I tried to move, but I was stuck. I was strapped to the bed.  
"What do you want from me?" I asked angrily. "I'm not your puppet anymore!"  
"Oh, Terra, it's not what I want from you. It's what I want you for." Slade approached me. "For you see, the Titans think you never left."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Back before your... untimely demise, when you were working for me, I made sure to keep a DNA sample, so should the need ever arise, I could reconstruct you. Your clone, the clone that I spent the last four months creating while the Titans were mourning your loss, is with them right now. When they brought you back, I knew I'd need to make a few modifications. That's why I've been testing you".  
"Testing me? Get to the fucking point."  
"You're getting angry. Good girl. You think these random attacks were plans in their own? Nothing of the sort. I wasn't testing your body; I have no use for that. I was testing your mind. You're a very special person, Terra, but your mind... well, let's just say that it has a few... undescribable problems. I've been studying it, always watching. Your clone has all of your strengths, Terra as well as increased strength, agility and brain capacity. I needed to test you to make sure it had none of your weaknesses."  
"You're a fucking lunatic. The Titans will come for me."  
"Don't be so sure about that. That's not the only reason I've been testing you. I'm going to use you, Terra, and I'm going to enjoy it very much."  
"You've lost me."  
"With all of the emotional stress you've been under, your powers will be easier to control and manipulate."  
"You're not going to control me anymore! I won't let you!"  
"You have no more choice in the matter. Be a good girl and get some sleep. I've got some calls to the government I have to make. IV feed, activate. Muscle relaxant, activate." I felt numb immediately. My body felt almost nonexistant.  
"You're not going to get away with this."  
"Oh, Terra, I already have. Sedative feed, activate."  
The world went black.

BEAST BOY  
I had been watching over Terra once we had brought her back inside. I was overjoyed when her eyes opened. "Terra, you're alright!" I exclaimed, happily. I closed my eyes and opened my arms, but something hard pushed me backwards against the wall. I opened my eyes and got to my feet. Terra was glowing with a yellow aura; her eyes were harsh and merciless. "Terra?"  
"Did you miss me?" She replied. She took out a chunk of the wall.  
"Guys, come here! Terra's not herself!" I yelled before being crushed against the wall again. Something warm trickled down the corner of my mouth; blood.  
"Why, Terra?" I asked. She smirked.  
"Time to stop living in a fantasy." She retorted. She lunged at me.


	8. Earthquake, Part Two

BEAST BOY  
Terra swung at me. I ducked, her fist barely missing the top of my head."Terra, I don't want to fight you!" I exclaimed. This couldn't be happening again... could it? I hoped not. Terra was standing with her back to the door; perfect. Cyborg burst through, wrapping his arms around her neck.  
"One twist and it's all over, Terra. Don't make me do it." He threatened. She smirked.  
"You wouldn't do it anyway." She tried to flip Cy off of her, but he held on.  
"Any time now, Raven!" Cyborg exclaimed.  
"That's not Terra." Raven replied from just outside the door. "Unless you implanted psychic dampeners in her head." I grabbed the person that, until now, I believed was Terra, and slammed her against the wall.  
"Who are you, and where's Terra?!" I shouted remorselessly. She laughed.  
"You don't actually expect me to tell you that, do you?" She asked. "All you need to know is that Terra, the girl you all hold so close to your hearts, will soon leave this plane of existance. Her demise will occur where it all begins again."  
"Enough of this bullshit!" I yelled. I grabbed a pair of scissors from a nearby table, shut my eyes, and drove the metal straight into the imposters heart. Only, there was no blood. All I heard was the resonating sound of metal scraping metal. "It's a robot, a fucking robot! Cy, you do the honors."  
"With pleasure." Cy responded calmly, the electric hum of his arm cannon powering up reverberating in my ears. There was a flash of light, and the thing I held against the wall was gone. A small container fell to the ground, resting on the carpet that cushioned it's fall.  
"What's this?" I asked, handing the jar over to Cy.  
"A genetic sample... from Terra." He replied. "Wait... where are Robin and Star?"  
"They're in the other room, trying to track Slade down. At least, now they are." Raven replied, entering the room. "Beast Boy, you just proved that if you had to, you would kill Terra." I dropped the scissors. She was right. I shuddered. I didn't even want to think about that. There was an uneasy silence in the room. I sighed.  
"What do you think that robot meant?" I asked. "I mean, all that 'where it all begins again' stuff." More silence. Cy and Raven were thinking. It came to me first. Where it all begins again... is where it began in the first place. Slade's underground hideout. Terra's resting place for the last four months. "I know where he's keeping her. We probably don't have much time. Come on." The sound of footsteps behind me followed.

TERRA  
I gasped. I felt like there was something stuck in my throat. Slade had turned everything he was using to imprison me here off, but why? More importantly, what did he want me for? God, more questions than answers. It hurt my head. There was a fast, high-pitched beeping. I started breathing normally, and the speed of the tone leveled off. Why was I the one caught up in all this? Why me? My mind went back to something Beast Boy said to me. He told me I'm more powerful than I'd ever know. It relieved me and frightened me at the same time. I told myself to calm down. I just needed to be calm and everything around me would be clearer. Rather than fear for my life like any sane person, I began wondering about the rent for an apartment in Gotham. I was still trapped; I was awake, but I couldn't move. I didn't know where I was; everything around me was dark. My back pain hadn't gone away, and I was a bit concerned. No matter, though. I could just ask Cyborg to take a look at it when they came to save me. Save me. I once said to Robin that I wasn't some sad little girl that needed saving, but that was a long time ago. I questioned how I could still be alive; four months without any food or water or oxygen. Was I even awake when I was entombed? I couldn't remember. It all seemed so blurry, so distant. A creak of metal in the darkness. My heart skipped a beat; the tone recorded it. It was driving me crazy with its monotony. I shivered. I was cold. I extended a finger to touch my leg; it stung. I thought I was going to freeze. I thought of my warm bed back at the tower; of course, it wouldn't be mine for much longer if I was going to leave. Should I leave? There's so much I could... no, I shook the thought from my head. I needed to leave, I needed to go to Gotham, Metropolis, anywhere, as long as I could get away from Jump City for a while. I needed to do it for myself. A crash, now. It was so sudden that if I were standing, I would probably jump. A light flickered on above me. It blinded me.  
"Terra!" A familiar voice. "X'Hal, Terra, are you all right?"  
"Starfire?" I squinted into the darkness. I couldn't see who it was. It was her, all right. She flew up to me.  
"Yes, it is I, friend. You do not look comfortable."  
"I don't want her to be." Slade. He lunged at Starfire, but she barely had time to react before he was on her. He readied a knife to go in for the kill, but it was shot out of his hand.  
"That's it, Slade. It's the end." Robin. There were others.  
"Robin, fool. You should know by now that it's not the end. It's just the beginning." Slade slipped back into darkness. My heart was pounding; it was hard to hear anything else over its steady beat. Pain washed over my body. I didn't know what was happening. I screamed. I could almost smell my burning flesh. The world was getting darker. I was about to pass out.  
"Slade, why are you doing this?!" Robin asked. Slade chuckled.  
"Her powers demanded perfection." He retorted.  
"The only perfect thing you gave her was a perfect hell!" Beast Boy. He was there. I wanted to see his face just one more time before I died. "All you've been doing is toying with us!"  
"Game's over, Slade." Cyborg. "You lose." That's everyone except... Raven, the one I was most like. I couldn't see her, but I could hear her voice.  
"Hang on, Terra. It's almost over." She comforted me. The ground was beginning to shake; I was past my tolerance point. Slade was sending me into a dark abyss, one from which I could never hope to escape from. I felt weak; weaker than I ever had. Slade had set me up; he counted on me losing control of my powers, there being an earthquake, the volcano erupting again. It was Slade's second chance, and he used it a lot better than I had used mine. Another emotional beginning, another tragic end. Beast Boy was right. I'm in a perfect hell. I heard them fighting my battle. The pain stopped, but my body was numb. I couldn't feel any part of my body. I was going to faint. My fate was in their hands now. I breathed the last bit of air I could feel and passed out.

BEAST BOY  
So this was it: the final battle. With Slade, though, it was never final. He always came back for more. It was anticlimactic, but I had to take him down to ensure that there wasn't a bitter ending to this. I fought as hard as I could. I was standing face-to-face with everything I feared: the city being destroyed, the death of the traveler whom, on one sunny morning over four months ago, I'd met for the first time, and I haven't been the same since. I liked the entire experience to nothing more than a bad dream for Terra. She had been beaten, bruised, bloodied, tampered with, manipulated, and it was all the fault of this... fucker. We all sometimes like to think that our actions have no consequences or repercussions. However, when we open our eyes, we understand that everything has consequences, whether it's real or not. Terra taught me that. We all have a quest to be more human, but it's easy to cross the line. We think it'll be easy, but it's not. It's one of the hardest things we ever have to do. Terra might have been knocked out, but her powers were still active, moving and shaking the ground. The volcano would activate any time now. We just had to make sure that everything would be alright. I could feel concern for her later; if Raven's not freaking out, then she's probably fine. Raven joined the battle, tossing some of Slade's equipment at him. We all make mistakes, but the mistake Slade made was unforgivable. This past week and a bit, it's just been like we've been running in circles, and it's been true every step of the way. Slade got us, but that didn't mean we were going to let him win. The shaking of the ground stopped; Slade stumbled. Just the opening Cyborg needed, blasting him with his arm cannon. We were going to win, but it's better not to get too cocky about these situations. If Terra wants to get out, I'll let her. A rock fell on Cyborg, Raven and Robin. What was Terra doing? I looked over. Terra was still knocked out, so it couldn't have been her. Slade's hands were glowing with a yellow aura.  
"Why did you do it, Slade? Why did you give yourself her powers?" I asked angrily.  
"Who said anything about her giving them to me?" Slade laughed. "All I needed to harness them was a genetic sample." I chuckled. That was the stupidest mistake Slade could have made. "What are you laughing at?"  
"You screwed up, big time. Your body won't accept Terra's DNA. It'll end up killing you."  
"It's not in my body, fool." Starfire had managed to lift the rock off our comrades. She threw it at Slade, who stopped it in midair and threw it back at her.  
"Did anyone ever tell you that yellow's not your colour?" Cyborg asked, before lunging at Slade. Slade flew up into the air on a rock, and crashed down on Cyborg. Cyborg barely got out of the way. Slade threw his hands up into the air, and rocks came crashing down from the ceiling. In three minutes, Slade had managed to turn the tide of battle in his favor. Terra sat up, clutching her head. She had that vacant look in her eyes, but she shook it off. Slade was doing it to her. Doing it to her by using her powers.  
"Terra!" I yelled. "The only way to fight it is to use your powers! Do it!" She glanced at me and nodded. Her body was engulfed in a yellow aura. It looked like she was on fire.  
"Are you ready for the end, Slade?" Terra asked ominously.  
"Child, you know nothing of the end." Slade replied. The final battle wasn't Slade taking on the Teen Titans. The final battle was Slade versus Terra, a battle four months in the making. The ending was closer than I expected; I just didn't know what would happen... or who would be the winner. In that moment, I just hoped that everything would be alright. For everyone. There was an odd silence. It felt like it was a standoff; everyone anticipating the first move, but it never coming. It felt like time was standing still.  
"Stand down, guys. He's mine." Terra broke the silence. I could hear her heavy breathing, even thought I was ten feet away. "This is what happens when you screw with me, Slade. I beat you once, and now I'm going to beat you again."  
"That's the girl I know. The merciless monster who craves death and destruction. I told you humanity was useless. Give me everything you have, Terra!" Slade yelled. Terra's arms dropped to her sides. "That's what I thought." Slade sent Terra flying backwards with a wave of his hand. Terra stood back up, seemingly uninjured.  
"I may have to lose my humanity to fight you, but I will beat you, and it will come back. You ruined my life, Slade. You killed me at 14. I may have regrets, I may have humanity, but what you did was unforgivable, and as long as I'm breathing, you will never be forgiven." Terra spoke with a roughness I had never heard before in her voice. "I'm conflicted, but I'm going to do what I think is the right thing. I'm sorry, guys." Terra's aura began burning more brightly, as she catapulted herself up to where Slade was standing. "I'm not afraid of you any more, Slade. You've broken my body. You've tampered with my mind. You made me break my heart..." She looked at me, softly. "But if there is just one thing I can do, one thing at all to redeem myself for all the horrible things I did of my own accord with your direction, it would be to take you down and make sure you stay down. After I'm through with you, you will NEVER MESS WITH THE TITANS AGAIN!" Terra threw a hard right to his jaw, but Slade grabbed her arm and twisted it. There was a cracking sound, but Terra was able to fight out. Terra forced the stone they were standing on to the ground, where it shot dirt out of the ground. The two fought, and it was hard to watch. My heart was heavy in my chest.  
"She's not holding back." Raven observed. "Physically or emotionally." It was an all too familiar setting; it was beginning again, but was it a new beginning, or the beginning of the end?  
"Terra, remember not to overuse your power!" Robin yelled. "Don't set off the volcano!"  
"Just because she doesn't want to doesn't mean I can't." Slade replied.  
"You can't anyway!" Terra yelled. "Next to me, you have no power/"  
"This is not how it ends, girl/"  
"Isn't it?" Terra lept backwards, just as a giant stone fell from the ceiling and landed on Slade. The rock glowed and shattered. Slade clutched his shoudler, hurt but unbeaten. "You're right, it's not where it ends. It's just the beginning." I couldn't watch. The girl I loved against the man I hated for what he had done to her. One last time, for her freedom. She would never be the same. None of us would, but somehow, never knowing the outcome, I knew that we were going to be just fine. I just worried that fine wasn't good enough. I was reminded of a song I had once heard. It seemed ironically appropriate now.

"There's more to me then you ever will know.  
Down here where the rest of us fell.  
Waste away, nothing left to show.  
I'm in a perfect hell."

TERRA  
I gave Slade everything I had. My fists were numb from fighting. He struck me hard in the face. My vision grew foggy; my eye was swelling. Damn blood vessels. I punched Slade hard in the temple, sending him backwards. I had given up on using my powers; I only needed to use them to negate the numbness, the comotose feel I had when Slade used them. This was the battle, the last one, and I was losing. I was losing a lot lately. Losing everything, while my life spun out of control again. Maybe I was destined to complete the cycle. Living over and over again, the same life with only slight variations. It could drive a person crazy. It had already gotten to me. Slade wrestled with me, wanting the control he already had of the scuffle. He broke my arm; I could feel the pain, the bone shattering, but I didn't cry. I couldn't feel that way anymore. Slade had taken that away from me. He knocked me to my feet. This was a familiar situation, all too common these days. These days of life, running together like rapids before a waterfall. A thought came to my mind. It was a meager thought, but it's hope shone through the darkness of my mind. I wanted to survive this. I wanted to kick Slade's ass. I wanted to live. Like a beam through the darkness, I too began to light up, my power charging itself. I blasted Slade, knocking him off his guard.  
"You won't survive this, Terra!" He shouted. I saw right through him. An empty threat. I had one thing that Slade didn't, that would give me the sheer hope, determination, and willpower to defeat him. For the first time in my life, I realized I had friends. They would always be there for me, no matter what I did. No matter what.  
"I can survive this! I will survive this! I have people waiting for me, and I can't let them down!" I shouted back. Slade's eye widened, in horror, realizing a weakness, I don't know. He went on the defensive.  
"You can do it, Terra!" Beast Boy shouted from the ground, the other Titans around him. Even Raven, apathetic as she may seem, was breaking down the barriers that I had set up around myself. I no longer felt like I couldn't escape. This was my escape. I couldn't resist any longer; rocks crumbled down around me from the ceiling.  
"Fool, you'll kill us all!" Slade shouted, horrified. It was horror. I was myself again. Slade would tremble before me. The sadistic pleasure I had before was gone, for it was now overwhelmed by a sense of rightousness, a sense of meaning. A sense of belonging.  
"Tell everyone you know, Slade, if you survive. Tell them never to mess with the Titans again, or I will personally hunt them down and give them a dose of reality!" I yelled. I felt like I was on fire again. A yellow aura consumed my flesh, making me appear like a spectre. Boulders fell from above like raindrops. I waited for the enevitable blackout. It came.

"Terra, wake up." Beast Boy said. Terra opened her eyes. Was she still alive, or had she killed them all?  
"Is it over?" She asked, a hope in her heart. A hope to go back to the way things were.  
"It's over, Terra." Beast Boy said, reassuringly. "We won." Tears came to their eyes, and they hugged.

"So, you're not really going, are you?" Beast Boy asked, his voice breaking.  
"I have to." Terra replied. She hugged Beast Boy in a loving embrace, and then turned around to face the rest of the Titans.  
"How long will you be gone for?" Starfire asked.  
"A little while." Terra replied. "About five months." She brushed her hair out of her face. "Thanks, guys. For everything. If you need me, I have my communicator."  
"Are you sure you want to walk?" Robin asked. "I mean, I could get Batman to..."  
"No, Robin, it's alright." Terra reassured him. "I'll be fine. I've walked that far before."  
"Gotham City is across the country. Are you sure?"  
"I'll be fine. What about you guys? How do you know Slade won't come back?"  
"We don't," Cyborg answered with hope in his voice, "but after what you did, it doesn't matter. We'll be ready for him."  
"One way or another." Raven added. "You'll always have a place here, Terra. We're here for you. Don't ever forget that."  
"I won't. Thanks." The light from the rising shone on Terra's face, just like what she had felt. A hope in the darkness.  
"What will you be doing in Gotham?" Starfire asked enthusiastically.  
"I'll be staying at Gotham General Hospital. I'll be undergoing a psychiatric evaluation, and... well, I have my fair share of battle scars to contend with. Just one more thing, though. Cyborg, about the probes..."  
"Removed when you were asleep." Cyborg replied. "There won't be any more technology in your body for a while, if ever."  
"What about my powers? Will Slade..."  
"The genetic sample was located and destroyed." Raven responded.  
"You're free, Terra. Just like you always wanted." Beast Boy added.  
"I'm... free?" Tears began to trickle down Terra's cheeks. "I'm free?!" She jumped on Beast Boy, nearly knocking him to the ground.  
"Enjoy it. I am sure you will be much happier." Starfire replied, beaming. The sun was in the sky now, illuminating the world with happiness and hope.  
"I guess I better get going. I want to try to be at least to New Mexico by nightfall." Terra sighed. "Just... don't forget me."  
"We won't." Beast Boy answered. "You better not forget us."  
"You know I won't." Terra laughed. She hugged Beast Boy, and turned around, back towards the Titans. She took a deep breath. "The world really is beautiful. I'll contact you guys tonight."  
"We'll be waiting." Robin replied, smiling. Terra took a step, and then another. She kept going.  
"Beast Boy, arn't you coming?" Raven asked. He turned around, and she was the only one left outside.  
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." He replied. He heard the door close behind her. He watched Terra walk off, growing smaller and eventually vanishing. The strongest force that Jump City had ever seen was gone. Beast Boy sighed. "You can cross that desert outside. I'll be waiting for you inside." He said. "I'll be waiting, Terra. I'll be waiting." Beast Boy turned around and headed toward the tower. He turned around once more. Terra might have been gone, but the hope she spoke of, the hope she held in her heart, still resonated. The wind blew gently, slighly rustling Beast Boy's hair. In his heart, he knew that he could never forget Terra. He could never forget. "You can cross that desert outside. I'll be waiting for you inside." He chuckled. "I'll be waiting for you inside. Inside my heart." Beast Boy entered the tower, knowing that he would see Terra again. He had to.

"You can cross that desert outside.  
I'll be waiting for you inside."

WRITER'S NOTE: Thank you very much for reading this story. This story was originally a way to come to terms, and I believe that it's become more than that. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Now, like Terra, I, too, must take a brief sabbatical from this world, but like Terra, I will return, as well. If you enjoyed this story, tell your friends. They may enjoy it, too.

For you continuity buffs, this story takes place in "elseworlds" continuity. The writing of this story has spanned the whole of Season Three, and that season provided more twists and turns than I could keep up with. If you're a fan, you should be able to nitpick all the continuity discripancies in the story.

For you music connisuers, the "perfect hell" song is Sum 41's "Angels with Dirty Faces". The "waiting for you inside" song is Projet Orange's "Tell All Your Friends".

This, however, is not where the story ends. No, Terra will return, and she and the rest of the titans - including a new foursome - will be launched into a battle where the teams very existance is at stake. The story will be written soon, so keep a look out for it.

Matt "Doggett" Rawle  
August 26, 2004 - January 30, 2005


End file.
